Sup3rnality

So starts another week. The three day weekend went by too quickly, I hardly even felt it. Three days of lie-ins and snoozing didn't even happen. but it was good to be home anyway; to see my family and be the little kid again; to feel like I don't have to go out there and earn my own living.

Heh, don't think that I am suddenly regretting taking up a job. Nope, I don't regret it. In fact, I think I'm gonna love it. In this department, I have my father's genes; the workaholic who would rather do the work him/herself rather than let others do so. The only thing that gets me a little down in knowing that I will have so little time left for my beloveds: My family, my Sayang and my friends.

But I guess, it comes with the territory of being a university graduate. And it's not like I can stay unemployed and live under my parents' roof forever. Heck, even I don't want that. But you know how the grass is always greener on the other side? Or more fittingly is the phrase: 'You don't know what you've got til it's gone'.

Ah, I can go on.

But honestly, I like working. I like having a purpose and a role to play (other than those already set for me). I like living on my own and being my own person. This is what I've been wanting. This is what I've been looking forward to.

But when it all comes down to it, there's nothing that could please me more than to have all the time in the world to spend with the people who matter to me most. Because time is the biggest enemy, and for that I have many fears. I fear that my family who offers me never ceasing and unconditional love would be taken away from me in time; how time could sweep me off my feet, and when I get up I'd realize that they're not the same as I remember them. My friends; I get scared that we'll lose the bond we share.and one day realize that I am all alone. I fear that I'll pick up the phone but have no one to call. And my Sayang, the one person I rely on for love, sanity, security and comfort; the person who keeps me on the ground, will drift away from me and never be mine again.

And yet, while they are my fears, they are also what makes this job worthwhile. This is what I do for them. And the end of the day, despite coming home tired and weary, it's good to fall asleep knowing that I have a family who sacrificed alot to get me to where I am. I have friends (you people know who you are) who keep me grounded and take me as I am. And I have you, Asdil/Ash; the last voice I hear and fall asleep to, who makes me feel more loved than I ever dared to believe I deserve. I love every single one of you.

So, it's back to the grind. But no matter how hard and how tiring it gets, no matter how much time it takes off of my hands; it's all worthwhile.

Love,
Hazlin