Sup3rnality

"There is a major Season 8 spoiler out there, one that no one wanted to see early, and that was released by accident."
- Scott Allie

Hell yeah, there was a gorram spoiler I did not want, nor expected, nor intended to see. WTFufi?!

I mentioned before that I get daily digests of the latest Whedonesque news via Whedon.info, which contains everything from updates on comic upcoming issues to what ex-actors/actresses of the Whedonverse are doing now. Each day I would of course take the time to read the reviews and find out what's new on the Whedon front, just to sate my lust with whatever I can get; despite Dollhouse going down the drain and Firefly being no more.

But then, there are days when I would very much like to rip the pc off of it's wires and hurl it to the end of the room. And while I'm in such rage, I'd like to claw my brains out and burn the tattoo of the memory of what I'd seen off my mind.

Like that time when they had that page preview of the upcoming season 8 issue, and it had Buffy and Satsu in bed, and naked. Arghhh...my eyes. Assaulted by unwanted spoilerssssss...Why why???

And now this? Twilight is... Bloody hell. I'm not gonna give in and say it here. I'd very like to feign blissful ignorance and go on with my life and still wonder on what Twilight is all about. I want to go about with no knowledge on who he is.

But damn... Not that I didn't suspect him. I did. All the hints were there. The "I know that move" line, the profile when he pulled Buffy close, the duster...and the built is just right. He fit into my top 3: Xander, Angel and Spike. It's jus that he wasn't first on my list. Cos I was sure as hell that it was Xander.

Nevermind. I shall be immune to this and avoid Whedon.info for now. Ignorance is bliss (although I sure as hell will be painfully curious on all the updates now).

Thank you very much.

Love,
Linzy

*This just in: Dark Horse is apologizing for the leak to all the distraught, spoiled fans. Sigh...what to do?

One of the first things I did right after I swung my legs to the side of the bed, planted them on the floor, and got up to walk, was to turn on my laptop and checked my e-mails. Yes, I'm that far gone and that deep in the technology quicksand. But hey, when you think about it, I live in Cyberjaya and it promotes all sorts of cyber-ness--even if it is not as cyber-y as it sounds--and in spite of that, is disconnected from the outside world. So yeah, being where I am I should be living my life ITly and also because the internet is my saving grace to ensure I don't spiral into a black hole of loneliness.

Anyway, I digress, so back to my story. On top of my unread mail was my daily Whedon.info digest, with consists of anything and everything recent about and connected to the Whedonverse which is condensed into clickable links. The links itself are the headlines, so you can click on them headlines to be directed to the article itself and read on.

I stopped dead when I saw
""Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Movie Remake - It’s more than a rumor".

I clicked. And I read on.

My reaction?

Hell, NO.

A Whedonverse without the man, Whedon, himself?

Hell, NO.

There is no room for discussion. No room for reasoning. No room for debate.

I'd rather have no BtVS than have no Whedon. I know that the 'verse that Joss had painstakingly created would be shattered to bits. We've seen it done before in the first movie. And it sure as hell ain't surprising if it happens again.

I mean, the movies now are full of remakes. And I've seen many of my childhood favourites destroyed one by one. My memories now marred by some so-called new take or angle of a once popular show. Their "revolutionary" ideas on how it can be made 'contemporary' ruining the very essence of the show. I've seen it with Alvin and the Chipmunks, Ninja Turtles, Transformers etc. And then there was Indiana Jones 4 and Terminator 3. And how bout them stories like Dragonball and Streetfighter? I'm not a fan, but even I know those two were terribly butchered.

So a BtVS remake but in a different timeline so to not touch the world Joss created?

Hell, NO.

The beauty of the Whedonverse is that Joss builds the legends and myths and history around his stories tightly. So one pull at a strand can unravel this carefully woven, complex world. So it should not be touched. Not unless Joss intervenes. Others may think differently, but in my opinion, Joss is canon. What he thinks out will flow into the myth. It's his myth, after all. And someone else attempting to have a shot at this myth without having Joss be a part of it is murder to that myth. A different timeline might seem to be a way to go to tell the story of Slayers from another angle so to avoid probable contradictions, but I think this is not bloody likely to be the case.

The way I see it, seeing from how there are so many remakes made and being made, alot of people are wanting to jump onto this lucrative bandwagon. All you've gotta do is choose one of the many classics, unearth them, and make them "new" again to gain new fans and interest. And with Whedonites still going strong, there seems to be a market for a new BtVS movie. But a new BtVS movie by someone other than Whedon and his team (think Espenson, Noxon, Minear, Greenwalt, Goddard, DeKnight, Fury and Petrie) and a different timeline? Hell, no. Them bloody "revolutionaries" will rake in the cash and live happily every after, while the stories lie in the dust, doomed to forever be another classic that shoulda stayed buried because they're too cheesy or lame. No young'uns, it's not that. You see, they shoulda been handled the way they should be handled: with care. Their original creators went through much pain making them the way they are; but then some person comes up and thinks they know better cos they're young, and hip and now; but ends up rattling the foundation of the story. And thus, the story slumps in a heap and is forgotten. Never to be revisited again, because everyone will now remember it as a flop. And not for the greatness it once posessed.

So, please, Joss, don't let this happen.

I can see no good coming from this unless you step in.

This is the time for your divine intervention, Joss Whedon.

JWIMMN,
Linzy

My usual Whedon.info digest caused a much sudden intake of breath as I read the headlines while at work, "Andy Hallett dies of heart failure...". I had to pause for a while and let the thoughts digest themselves, that the actors of my ever-immortal characters that I play over and over on my DVDs could actually be mortal.

Lorne may never have been the highlight for me in Angel, but thanks to him being an empath demon with much insight, he serves to be the one to say put things out there when no one dares to say it. Sorta like a subtler Anya, in you will. His wisdom laced with humor are heartwarmers, laugh riots and simply endearing. Oh, and I love it when he calls Angel pastries. And Andy, the person behind the make-up and horns and colourful suits, well, he brings them to life. The way his voice changes from The Host to friend, you can feel the depth and feeling Andy brings to make that character believable. And his eyes convey much more than words can.

I want to say more, and I've been sitting here thinking of words to explain what I love about Andy's portrayal of Lorne and Lorne as a character himself, but I can't seem to find the right words. No matter, because he'll always be alive to me; even if it is just in my DVDs. And Andy/Lorne, you're no lackey. You'll sing on.

I forgot on whose blog I found this, but I just thought it'd be a nice way to pass the time. Besides, the questions seem interesting.

7 facts you may not know about me

• I would have had another sibling three years younger than I am. But my mother miscarried.
• I dislike being called 'Ayin' by my peers. It's a name reserved only for family, whether immediate or extended. But I suppose someone overheard it being used and decided to use it, too. I personally prefer 'Lin' or my actual name, even.
• I was actually due to be born on the 4th of January 1986; and nowhere within 1985.
• I would have been named either Sarah (my mum's idea), Heidi (also mum's) or Azlin (my mother's); but my father objected to all of them, particularly 'Azlin'. Him having the initial 'A' provided him with much experience of being called first for everything.
• I have a birthmark on my right arm; just a darkened patch of skin.
• I only act ditzy for the satisfaction of seeing a person's face change when their perception of me is proven wrong. Or, so to not seem like an exasperating know-all. Or, so to not draw too much attention to myself. But for the most part, to get out of trouble.
• I am of no mix heritage (as far as I know, anyway), nor have I ever lived overseas; contrary to popular belief(s).

7 things that scare me

• Losing the people I love.
• Being the only person left (it's scarier than any horror movie, being alone).
• Bringing my defences down.
• Departing without leaving an impact or change or a contribution.
• Being told that I am insignificant, or not good enough.
• Never marrying and never having my own children.
• Never being able to record everything that crosses my thoughts. Which is why I write alot. Sometimes about utter nonsense. But writing gives me purpose; regardless of content.

7 songs that I like most

• Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
• Always - Bon Jovi
• Angel - Sarah McLachlan
• Who Will Save Your Soul? - Jewel
• Playboy Mommy - Tori Amos
• I'll Be - Edwin McCain
• Strong - Robbie Williams

7 phrases that I say the most

• Bloody hell.
• What the heck? or What the frickin' hell...?
• Tulaa pasal... (yes, Hamz. I'm still using it til this day)
• ...lah.
• Yep yep.
• Okey dokey.
• No problemo.

7 of my precious things
We talking about people, inanimate objects, or both? I'll go for objects; for people, the list is too long.

• My Claddagh ring
• My laptop
• My phone
• My collection of Whedonverse-related stuff
• My collection of photographs (whether digital or in print)
• My journals
• My poetry

7 memorable first times

• *that*
• oh yeah, that
• uh-huh, that, too
• not to forget that ;)
• also that
• definitely that, and
• that!

7 friends to tag

• Encik Sedilku
• Fidzy
• Bella
• Idzaid
• Sarah
• Anis
• Yanna
• ...and actually everyone else who's a regular reader. Sorry I can't tag everyone. But you know who you are :)

Love, Hazlin~

Or theories, more like.

After finding out that my entire stash of BtVS S8 comics had gotten damp because of God-knows-what, I had to iron out every single page to crispy flatness. I panicked when I found them all crinkly and stuck together, and almost had a panic attack. Thankfully, I managed to peel the pages apart safely and the only tell-tale signs now that they ever got wet is the slight yellowish discolouration. But even that makes me rather pissed...but well, better than having them ruined.

But anyway, after ironing them, I took to rereading them from the beginning to catch any details that might have been overlooked before. Now that I am catching up with the plot, it's good to look back and detect whatever that will foreshadow the future; which is a signature Joss style.

Rereading them comics had me wondering who Twilight is. He strikes me as a character that that knows Buffy well; and as someone we audience have seen before... But who? And why? So I started making an inventory of the likely suspects:

1. Caleb - his sexist statement "Just like a girl" and his knowing "that move" reminds me alot of that scary preacher guy (nevermind the fact that the same actor is my beloved Captain Reynolds). But he got halved, and should be dead...
2. Angel - I've read this theory somewhere, and there is some truth to it; especially the frame where he holds Buffy's face close (issue #11), it looks exactly like the move Angelus pulled in Season 2. Plus, Angelus' advice to Spike once was that to kill Buffy, you have to love her, and to know where her weakness lies; and Twilight's speech at the end of Issue #11 is reminiscent of that.
3. Spike - Only because of Twilight's build. Oh, and the fact that Spike is not quite a fan of magic. Other than that, I doubt it is Spike...but who knows? His Yoko Factor strategy is coming to play again, as seen in Issue #9. But the accent is all wrong. So, maybe not...?
4. Ethan Rayne - He crossed my mind, but since he's dead, it couldn't be him...or is he? After all, death doesn't nececssarily mean the end in the Buffyverse.
5. Xander - After the Fray crossover, and Willow (of the future) dying and all; I kept wondering what happened to Xander? Where does Xander fit into the future? Surely what happened between Willow and Buffy has Xander in the mix. They are after all, the original three. So I'm not totally ruling out a future Xander bitter at Buffy for all the heartache he's been through. And that line "My first gift is my last"...kinda reminds me of the fact that Xander gave Buffy life, and he wants to take it away... I know that doesn't really link up nicely, but it's one of my strongest theories. Oh, and the part when Twilight scratches his neck? It was like when Xander thought he was gonna get gills and turn into the sea creature in Season 2's Go Fish. And the next frame has Satsu reiterating that people who love Buffy get hurt...and Xander is definitely a candidate.
6. Riley - He got scratched out of my list as soon as I read Issue #21. I mean, what the heck?

I can't think of anymore. I'm trying to shortlist a few more candidates that seem to fit the bill, but no one else is coming to mind at the moment. Oh, and when I started writing this, I actually had my strongest of suspicions that it is Angel...but as I began elaborating, I realized that my money's on Xander. Anyone care to share theories?

Love, Hazlin~

P/s: I wrote this in a hurry, so excuse the half-baked theories and explanations. Will (hopefully!) explain with as much finesse as I can muster soon...especially on the bit about Xander. Til then!

I've met another Whedonite! I've met another Whedonite!

As it turns out, Juliana, my fellow new recruit, the person whom I carpool with, the one whom I walk to work and joke with, go for training with and sometimes have lunch and get chased by dogs with is a Whedonite. Yes, a Whedonite. And here I thought they were becoming extinct.

I discovered it over lunch while I was explaining to her why I don't watch much tv; about how a certain Director Extrodinnaire have ruined me for tv. I just opened my mouth to say "His shows are Buff..." and Juliana says, "Oh, you mean Joss Whedon? I love his shows!"... And I am left dumbfounded with my mouth hanging open.

We talked for over an hour...Discussing episodes and season and characters. We talked about Dollhouse, Firefly/Serenity and Dr. Horrible...Yup, Linzy was in her element, and I had to pause and tell her that this is what happens when you get me started. Before long, we realized we're already late and should've been back in the office about 10 minutes ago :p

It's a relief for me to let go; because a huge part of me is influenced by Joss Whedon's philosophy and thought. And to be able to discuss it freely and have the other person know what you are talking about is a rare treat for me. I mean, I know people who watch those shows, but not many would know scenes and certain characters and quotes and all those little details. People whom I actually know who are in the know of the Whedonverse are only a handful...and you know who you guys are :)

So, me over here, somewhere in my mind is doing Numfar's Dance of Joy.

JWIMMN (for the benefit of those not in the know, it means Joss Whedon is My Master Now),
Hazlin

I read this article this morning, from my trusty Whedon.info newsletter I get in my inbox every now and then. And reading it gave my heart the familiar tug whenever I watch some of them scenes here in the list. It's just one of those reasons that keeps Whedonites coming back for more. After all, Joss said once, "I don't give them what they want, I give them what they need".

It's the strong emotions that Joss invoke that make you feel the reality of the show despite its fantasy-like setting. And that's the point; because no matter how insane life gets, the reality of it is that we all bleed and we all die. Even if you get resurrected, life is still temporary, and you can be swept off your feet even before you set foot.

And that's the beauty of the Whedonverse.

By the way, I just realized that Yanna has posted a similar post :)

Anyway, here's the article:

My favourites are #3, 4, 6, 7...Ah crap, I love them all. But I cried the hardest watching Joyce, Fred, and Angel die. And not to forget Season 8 #19 when Willow dies... I cried while I was sitting on the bench in front of Kinokuniya after buying it.

Joss Whedon’s 16 Most Painful Character Deaths

Joss Whedon’s new series Dollhouse debuts tonight. How long till one of the characters is killed in some heartbreaking and horrifying way? Only time can tell. In the meantime, let’s reflect on some of Joss’s previous victims… namely, the sixteen which most affected the plots of their respective series. When you have a list like this that’s narrowed down to the top sixteen, you know you’re dealing with a serious offender. Many, MANY characters have died in Joss’s works, but it would be impossible to name them all. Obviously, spoilers abound in this article, so if you’re not up to date on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly & Serenity, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, or Astonishing X-Men, you might want to avert your eyes.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

1. Buffy Summers (”Prophecy Girl” and “The Gift”)

"Hey, I’ve died twice..."

It’s not often that the main character of a show is killed off — let alone the title character, let alone TWICE. But that’s exactly how both Season 1 and Season 5 end, with Buffy sacrificing herself to save the world. The difference is that she’s brought back to life within a few minutes in “Prophecy Girl,” while viewers had to spend the summer between seasons 5 and 6 wondering how on earth UPN was going to pull off the show with Buffy dead. But even knowing her death was unlikely to be permanent didn’t make watching it happen any less emotional an ordeal.

2. Jenny Calendar (”Passion”)

"This is where you get off."

When Angel loses his soul and becomes Angelus, it is unclear at first how evil he really is. Sure, he’s callous toward Buffy after their consummation, but until he breaks Jenny Calendar’s neck he hasn’t done anything truly horrific. Possibly even worse than the murder itself, however, is his cruel joke on Giles thereafter. Come to think of it, his careful planning and his uncanny ability to find the most excruciating way to torment his “audience” is reminiscent of Joss himself.

3. Angel (”Becoming Part 2″)

"Close your eyes."

As Angelus, Angel had opened a portal to a hell dimension (how many of those are there, anyway?) and only his death would close it. The fact that Buffy would have to kill him to save the world, then, is awful enough. But to make matters worse, Willow’s spell to restore Angel’s soul works just in time, yet not — too late to prevent the portal from being opened, yet in time to get back his puppy-dog eyes as Buffy rams a sword through him and shoves him into hell. Ouch.

4. Joyce Summers (”I Was Made To Love You”)

"Mom? What are you doing?"

As one of the few non-supernatural deaths during the show’s run, Joyce’s is particularly shocking and disturbing. Her tumor had been removed earlier in the season and everything seems to be looking up — never a good sign in the Jossverse. The realism with which her death is treated in the following episode, “The Body,” is almost unheard of in fiction, which makes it ache all the more.

5. Tara Maclay (”Seeing Red”)

"Your shirt."

Like Joyce, Tara is killed not by magic or demons, but something more familiar: an angry kid with a gun, a stray shot not even meant for her. As a “natural” death, it is irreversible, even by Willow. More than any other death in the show’s history, Tara’s directly affects major actions that follow; i.e. Evil!Willow and her killing spree of pain. It’s also one of the few times a character dies and doesn’t return in any form (a
deliberate choice made by Amber Benson to preserve the integrity of the character she portrayed so lovingly).

6. Anya (”Chosen”)

"Bunnies. Floppy, hoppy, bunnies."

As a regular character for four seasons, Anya had become a fan favorite and one of the most vital members of the Scooby Gang. So it’s a shock when, instead of the usual drawn-out death in her lover’s arms, she’s sliced in half so quick you could easily miss it. Though it seems unfair for her to go out this way, it fits perfectly with the
tone of the episode. No one is safe, and with thousands of casualties in one battle, there’s no time for glamorous deaths.

7. Spike (”Chosen”)

"I want to see how it ends."

OK, so maybe Spike gets a glamorous death. As the self-appointed “champion,” he uses the amulet given to Angel by Lilah Morgan (crossover alert!) to cleanse the Hellmouth of its evil. Unfortunately for him, this involves him burning up from the inside out and exploding in a brilliant ray of effulgence (that’s right, effulgence).
Fortunately for his fans, he would return on the final season of Angel just a few months later.

Angel

8. Doyle (”Hero”)

"Too bad we’ll never know if this is a face you could learn to love."

The first casualty of Angel’s spinoff series, Doyle was a lovable character from the start and it was a shock to see him go so soon, especially as Cordelia finally seems to be noticing his affection for her. Reportedly, he was written off due to Glenn Quinn’s real life drug problems and, sadly, Glenn himself died of an overdose in 2002.

9. Darla (”Lullaby”)

"This child... Angel, it’s the one good thing we ever did together."

Considered a villain for most of her run on Buffy and Angel, Darla miraculously becomes pregnant with Angel’s son — a human — after their romp in Season 2’s “Reprise.” With the mortal baby’s soul inside her, she develops a sense of morality she hasn’t felt in centuries. As a result, she selflessly stakes herself to save her baby’s life.

10. Cordelia Chase (”You’re Welcome”)

"That chick’s in rough shape."

After having spent half of Season 4 possessed by an evil goddess and the other half (plus half of Season 5) in a coma, it seemed Cordelia would never get the closure she deserved. Thankfully, the episode “You’re Welcome” gives her that closure, as she seems to recover from her coma, back to her old self. But at the end of the episode, it’s revealed that she returned only in spirit form, just long enough to tell Angel goodbye and share with him one last vision before she dies. All along, she knows this, yet keeps it to herself; the irony born from Angel’s ignorance is what makes her death so bittersweet.

11. Winifred “Fred” Burkle (”A Hole In The World”)

"Please, Wesley, why can’t I stay?"

Just two episodes after Cordelia’s death, the show lost its other female lead, at least strictly speaking. After being infected with the essence of Illyria, an “Old One,” Fred’s life slowly fades away. In a turn of events which is both relieving and distressing, the demon who has invaded her continues to possess her body. Thus, the character is not completely gone, and Illyria has the ability to impersonate Fred, but Fred herself is truly dead.

12. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (”Not Fade Away”)

"We’ll be together."

After Fred’s death, tortured-soul Wesley becomes even more broken than usual. Having his memories of all that Connor drama returned doesn’t help matters, either. During the final fight of the series, Wesley is killed in a sorceror’s battle with Cyvus Vail — though from a knife stab to the abdomen, not magic. Illyria enters to see him mortally wounded, and asks if wants her to lie to him — to be Fred. He agrees, and dies in Fred’s arms as she did in his.

Serenity

13. Shepherd Book

"Can’t order me around, boy. I’m not one of your crew."

With nine cast regulars on the series Firefly, it was only a matter of time before one of them bit the dust. But, as it was so short-lived, Joss had no time to flex his murdering muscles. So when the show’s sequel movie came along, he had to make up for lost time by killing two of the nine. Shepherd Book, who appears in the film more as a supporting character than as part of the main cast, dies at the hands of the movie’s villain, The Operative. Rather unceremoniously, Mal and the gang are forced to use his body, along with those of his fallen neighbors, to desecrate Serenity in order to disguise her from the Reavers.

14. Hoban “Wash” Washburne

"I’m a leaf on the wind."

After Book, it seems unlikely that another member of the crew would be killed within the same movie. We’re caught off guard when Wash, declaring himself “A leaf on the wind,” is skewered by a Reaver ship’s harpoon, dying instantly. Naturally, this comes shortly after a conversation between Zoe and Wash about starting a family as soon as this crisis ends.

Astonishing X-Men

15. Kitty Pryde (Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men #1)

"God, give me strength."

Though Joss’s stint writing Astonishing X-Men was relatively brief, he ended it in his signature style: by killing his favorite character. In the final issue of his four-part arc, a giant bullet is fired at Earth by an alien race. In order to prevent the bullet from destroying the planet, Kitty Pryde (incidentally, one of Joss’s inspirations for Buffy) uses her power to phase the bullet through the Earth. Unfortunately, she is unable to stop the bullet from continuing its trajectory through space, so she is doomed to ride it indefinitely. Presumably, she will at some point be too exhausted to continue phasing it through objects in its path, and it will crash into something. Since she is not actually seen dying, it’s likely she will return to the Marvel universe eventually (it is a comic book, after all!).

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

16. Penny

"It’s OK. Captain Hammer will save us..."

An experiment in web media, Dr. Horrible quickly became a cult phenomenon. Told in three acts, it is a musical about a wannabe supervillain driven by his love for Penny, a sweet, benevolent girl who is, unfortunately, more enamored by his nemesis, Captain Hammer. The first two acts are dark yet playful, as Dr. Horrible at first seems to not be very good at being evil. But in the third act, when he tries to kill Captain Hammer, a tragic series of events ensues which culminates in the inadvertent death of Penny. Some argue that her death is necessary for Dr. Horrible to truly begin his journey into villainy, while others are exasperated that Joss seems to have gotten fixated on his characteristic killing-off-the-love-interest device. Perhaps it’s both.

Love,

Linzy the Whedonite

I read this post on Facebook which was put up by Idzaid and thought it'd be fun to list out these 25 random things about myself. Turns out, it was quite harder than I thought. My typing slowed down at about #11 or so, and I had to think hard about what else was there about myself that I could actually publish for public consumption. So, I ended up with this list... Maybe I'll add another 25 more if I think of any :)

Tagged by Idzaid Idros

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!

1. I am in love.
2. I am acrophobic and ranidaphobic.
3. When I was a kid, I loved science very very much and wanted to be either a scientist or a doctor/vet. I'll actually watch them documentaries with operations in them. As time went by, they were reduced to being just hobbies. Now, I know for sure that even if I was good at it, I can never see myself doing anything of the sort.
4. I, for the life of me, cannot ride a bike.
5. My biggest fear is rejection.
6. I got the inspiration to pursue English as a degree (and hopefully more) and also as a career when I was 11; from my cousin-in-crime, Kak Ana.
7. When I'm in my own space, clothing is optional...hehe, I have nudist tendencies. That's why I try to avoid sharing rooms :p (Thankfully, in my new apartment, I'll have the master bedroom all to myself)
8. I can watch all sorts of graphic, bloody movies where people get cut up, or lose their limbs in battle or get tortured etc. And while watching, I can nonchalantly eat. But show me or let me hear someone brushing their teeth, and I start gagging.
9. I know I'm weird, but it's ok if you want to tell me that; I kinda like it.
10. My vice is clothes. I can never have too many of them. And lingerie, too. (It's such an irony, cos it clashes with point #7)
11. For many years now, I've been dreaming of owning a cafe. It should have a cosy atmosphere with regular open mic nights. Think 'The Bronze' without the dancing, or perhaps 'The Espresso Pump'.
12. I always have dreams where I'm the commander on the frontlines of war. Often I'd dream about the preparations before the battle, or about the end, where I'd give my life to save another.. Quite gloomy. Anyone a dream reader?
13. My Deadly Sins ranked, as suggested by Tickle.com, are as follows: 1. Pride, 2. Lust, 3. Greed, 4. Gluttony, 5. Sloth, 6. Envy, and 7. Wrath.
14. My ultimate dream in life is to get married to the man I love, have wonderful kids, make my family happy and have a fulfilling life.
15. I want to write a paper that would first of all affirm the importance of literature. With that being said, I'd continue to present how literature influences/provokes discourse and thinking/ideas/philosophy, whilst merging it with the Whedonverse.
16. I have a slight case of OCD. Some things need to be a certain way or I get a mite tetchy.
17. I have an obsession for cheese.
18. I think Nature's best wonders are the smell of rain, the dawn/sunset and waterfalls.
19. I hope to be a scholar, have a good career, be the daughter that my parents can be proud of, be a good wife, be a good mother, and be a good person overall.
20. I am perpetually optimistic, even when I'm complaining.
21. When I'm charged and determined, I have this song playing in my head: These Boots Were Made for Walking.
22. I'm glad to say that throughout my life (so far), a majority of my friends, old and new, have stood by me and stayed friends. This, I feel, is a great accomplishment. You guys know who you are :)
23. The most important things in life, to me, are: Family, Friends and Faith. In a word: Love.
24. My favourite movie themes are: War, Dystopia, History/Periodic, Horror/Thriller.
25. My thoughts, ideas and discourse are majorly influenced by Joss Whedon (i.e. Buffy, Angel, Firefly/Serenity, Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog)

Love, Lin~

"Editing subs", said a friend of Ayus' when Ayus called to ask her what a sub-editor does, as well as how the test would be like.

That explains alot, I thought to myself.

Well, no help there, so I thought I'd just go it alone with whatever skills I have. Yes, today is interview day with Wolters-Kluwer in Cyberjaya, and I was told that I would have to sit for a test to determine whether I really qualify as an editor. When they called me yesterday, they also told me that I was qualified for two posts, so my test would also more or less which post I am more suitable for.

So I got there just before the appointed time, which was at 2pm. Earlier I took the komuter to Bandar Tasik Selatan, took the ERL to the Putrajaya station and got a cab to Ayus' place in Cyberia, Cyberjaya. I got ther s little after 9am, so I spent some time lepaking with the Fairuzs and also had brunch at OldTown. Later they sent me off to FSMB Plaza where the office was.

The office had a very friendly atmosphere to it that I liked. Everyone there seemed high on something and were all so hyper and happy and goofy. I guess that was a good sign. And also, I overheard the guy who called me yesterday, Mr. Raymond, tell his assistant that he's been looking forward to see me. Definitely another good sign. When they handed me the test and led me to a room for me to answer it, I saw the questions and thought it's something that I could do and would love to do. A major good sign.

Ok, lets not get ahead of ourselves.

The test consisted of three sections. The first one was an essay that I had to proofread and edit. I found that one easy, if a little tricky. There were spelling mistakes that were almost undetectable, and subtle mistakes that you would have just passed by (i.e.: the essay was about potatoes, and out of nowhere, it said carrots in a particular sentence). But in an essay, everything is in one specific context, so it was not a problem. The second part however, was similar in my having to correct whatever mistakes, but they were in sentences, which have been taken out of context, thus you aren't very very sure whether something you think is wrong, is. Also, I also had to edit them for length, so I had to cut out words that were unnecessary, even if I thought they should be there. The last section was to test the way I express myself in words, my vocab, my grammar and sentence structures. So I had to write an essay, which is based on a topic I had to choose out of three options. I chose the one that asked what I would to with 100k if it just happened to appear in my account. I had fun writing that.

After the test, which I was given an hour for, I was told I could leave, and they'd probably call me next week, seeing how tomorrow is Friday and they had about 10 pages to look through. I thanked them and left feeling good. The test felt good, and with the little pick-me-up I had from yesterday's interview, I felt that I was close to something. When I was leaving, many people in the lift was wishing me luck, and were saying that they looked forward to seeing me as a permanent fixture in the office. So, another major goodness sign.

I went shopping with Fairuzs after that at Alamanda. My feet were killing me cos I borrowed my mom's sandals, and it was hard and uncomfortable. But I survived anyway walking back and forth, here and everywhere in the mall.

When we got back to the car, and were about to leave, which was already around 5pm, I got a call and it was from Mr. Raymond. He told me that I had passed the test and all that was left was to come for an interview tomorrow at 10am. I was frickin' ecstatic! I passed. I passed?! I passed!!! If I was standing, I would have done the Dance of Joy like Numfar would.

Ayus, who overheard, was already plotting how she'd get her housemate to move out, anticipating me moving in with her :p

Really, I was so happy. I was mostly scared of the test. I mean, I know my grammar is relatively better than most, but I still dunno whether I would cut it as an editor. And to be told that I passed is super-fantastic! Now I know that the test was good for their standards, interview would be a breeze. I mean, not to be overconfident and count my chicks too early; but what I mean is that my anxiety has left, so tomorrow I won't have any of that.

I called Ash as soon as I got to Ayus' place. I was bursting at the seams and just needed to tell him. My parents I wanted to tell when I could see them. I was so excited and gushing when I was telling Ash. And I've to thank you, Sayang, for constantly telling me and assuring me that I could do it.

The Fairuzs after that sent me to the ERL and I got on it to Salak Tinggi, where my dad picked me up. I was so happy to announce the good news and begged him to get me new shoes for me to wear tomorrow. We stopped and I got two :) My mum was equally happy when I told her. And with everyone's assurance and blessing, tomorrow would be a walk in the park (I hope).

So, wish me luck. I really really want this. Pay is good, and the work is something my brain is made to do, so, getting it is so crucial to me...

Anyway, we'll see la, how it all turns out.

Love, Linzy~

The time of the year draws near, in two more weeks, on Christmas to be exact; I'd be turning another year older. Yup, I'll finally be joining the fold and will be turning 23.

And as per usual, like many Christmases before this, when posed the question "What do you want for your birthday?", I am stumped. My usually hyperactive mind screeches to an abrupt stop, turning my expression dumb and spaced. What do I want for my birthday?

I never seem to know what I want. At the risk of sounding incredibly cheesy, I'd like to say I don't really want anything in particular because I have everything that I need. I have a great family, I have my extraordinary Sayang, and wonderful friends. I have comfortable homes, a stable life, and a future to look forward to. I have a good mind, sanity, hope, love and faith. I cannot possibly ask for more.

My parentss are bound to ask me this question and I'd have know idea what to tell them. It bothers me because they'd ask and ask and ask when I have no answer. And if I don't answer, they might just get me something I don't really like...especially my other parents. So it's better that I tell them. But back to my dilemma, what do I want? Sheesh. You might say I am bloody difficult, and maybe I am, or maybe I am just too nice to say 'no' or reject the gifts I do get. So it's better if I just tell them something, yea?

So I've decided to make a whatever list of things that would I would like to have:

• The BodyShop's Christmas range of products ie. body butter, shimmer lotion, body polish


• Books ie. Margaret Atwood, book of poetry, anything Whedonesque


• BtVS comics omnibus


• Acer's One laptop (something my father would usually get)


• Silver jewelry (necklaces/pendants, rings, bracelets)


• A phone that has an mp3 player and a good camera (I miss my N70)


• Take me clothes shopping


• The BodyShop's Amorito EDT


• A good pair of comfortable yet stylish shoes


• Angel Season 1 & 2 DVD sets


• Dr. Horrible's Singalong Blog DVD set


• Serenity special edition DVD
• Claddagh jewelry
• Jewelry boxes

So there you have it. If my parentss ask, I'll print this out for them. That would save me from answering questions. Cos, well, like I said, I'm not one for asking for things. Hell, I'd be happy if I even get anything. Gifts and surprises are just wonderful, but really, I have all that I need :)

Love, Hazlin~

27th May 2008. Tuesday. By right and schedule, I have World Literature in English at 10am with Miss Aishah. But where was I? Not in class, that's for sure. Nope, I was somewhere doing something much out of my character, or usual day-to-day life, even. Where was I at that time? I was at NTV7 studios, having my make-up done in their make-up room, waiting for Fairuz to arrive, while being anxious about being on air in an hour's time.

Yup, I was gonna be appearing on tv. NTV7 to be exact on a show called 'Venus'. Apparently after the stint in Female Magazine, now NTV7 decided they wanted to interview us as well on their daily women's talk show. And what for? What else if not to talk about my obsession, Joss Whedon and his works. All hail Joss. The show was gonna focus on my friend Fairuz and I and our interest in collecting various things, including movie/tv show/music memorabilia among other things. And me, of couse, would be showcasing my Whedonesque collection. From my BtVS/Angel/Firefly action figures to books and comics. I was feeling so damn proud.

So, after my make-up, I was ushered into the sound room or whatever they call it and was hooked up with wires for microphones and such and was brought onto the set. The host/producer. Sariah Wan Jaafar, was gonna interview us instead of their other host, Aishah Sinclair, and we chatted a bit before we went live. Fairuz soon came in and we were both just psyching one another to relax. I swear to God, when the cameramen started counting down to going live, I panicked a while, suddenly forgetting what I was there for and worrying about what I was gonna say, how I was gonna look on tv and how I would sound. But it was all good when it started, and was able to gather my wits and do my thing.

It was all good. I knew my collections through and through. It's not something foreign for me to talk about. I mean, I was talking in my lingo, how hard can it possibly be? So I did my thing. I would say I did rather well. I didn't clam up or get nervous or start babbling...so that's definitely 'well' in my book. Although, Sariah jumped us with the 'do you have a boyfriend' question and what our boyfriend's think about our collectibles. Me, not expecting any of that kind of questions became sweaty all of a sudden and was thinking 'Bloody hell. What do I say?'. I wasn't gonna deny the fact that I'm with Ash but at the same time, I have yet to tell some of my family members about my new status and I don't think they're ready just yet. After a bit of a pause, I said that 'It would remain a mystery' and thankfully we went to commercials so I could regroup.

Heheh...It was all good. I would have liked it if Ash was there but it's ok sayang. You had class and you couldn't afford to miss it. And anyway you were there for me when I had to go to Cyberjaya for the shooting for the cover story at Fairuz's house. I appreciated it lots that you were there with me. Love you.

So, that's one helluva experience. My half-an-hour of fame, I suppose. Hehehe...I should be so lucky. Apparently it costs 30k a person to come on a show like that and we simply got invited. And even more, I got to talk about Joss and promote his work and spread the love. So...that's it. My half-an-hour on live national tv. It was cool. An experience that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Of course, my father being my father (I have no resentment; just some slight exasperation and amusement), he went on about how these things can be dangerous. How there are always people preying on young, 'impressionable' people, luring them with false promises of popularity and such. First of all, I was not attention-hungry when I got into it. I am not one to thrust myself too much into the limelight, I am not comfortable with it. I don't even fancy showbiz. I was just honestly piqued by the idea of promoting Joss Whedon and his works. And also, I didn't just jump into it without really knowing whether it was for real. Besides, I had Ash with me most of the time to keep an eye out. So I did not have to worry.

As for the others? Well, I got a whole bunch of comments and stuff, but all in all good.

Thanks Jasmine for the experience. Ayus for getting us into crazy stuff like this. My sayang, Ash, for the support and company. FidZy for lending me your 'other men' in your life. My mother, my biggest fan. And all you others, friends and family alike for various reasons. It wouldn't have been half as fun without you guys being around.

So here's the clips from the show. I may have seemed anxious, fidgety and concious; but what the heck, it was fun.

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

Love, LinZy~

~I feel rushed and excited~

That was-- That was--

Wow.

I can't feel my brain. I mean, that was--

Wow.

Mind-blowing. Crazy. Extraordinary. Extremely unbelievable. Damn psycho of a plot. I was speechless and motionless for a complete minute. It's just--

Wow.

A bit of 'eww' in somewhere in there, too. Not to mention the 'Oh my God. Oh my GOD. OH MY GOD.' And the 'What the Hell?', as well. But mostly, my mind was screaming: 'I bloody knew it'.

Or actually, I saw it coming but never thought it'd actually come to be. So, still, 'Oh my God; comes more to mind.

Wow.

Where would this go? Where would it lead? What does it mean? What would happen eventually? And will the Soulful Duo make an appearance and step in? we won't know til they happen.

But--

Wow.

This wouldn't be the first time, though. We Whedonites all know this little dance number and we'll dance along. Just as long as we don't end up in smoke or in a Pylea, I think we'll deal. Until then, in JOSS we trust. And oh, I shall read no more spoilers.

~Lin

I watched Spiderman 3 on Saturday night. I know, probably everyone else has watched it, seeing how it's been out since the 1st; or maybe has already watched it more than once. Well, not that it matters but I thought you'd probably be rolling your eyes at this point thinking 'Yeah, so? I've watched it last week'. For me, there isn't that much of an urgency to watch it anyway. I'm not a fan of the movie nor am I a fan of Tobey Maguire. Again, you may be thinking 'So?'. I don't know... You know how sometimes you just don't really like an actor and cannot be bothered to see a movie he's in? We'll if you have that kind of actor in mind, that's how it is for me.

Anyway, more to the point of this whole train of thought; so I watched the movie. I went to see it with my aunt and uncle, who were the ones that were really interested in seeing the movie to begin with; I was just tagging along. So we sat through the movie. Apart from my fever and a ringing in my ear (probably from the loudness), I sat through the movie fine. I had some issues with it, but it was overall okaylah...(in Malaysian terms that would mean 'so-so'). So when we left the cinema and started driving back, I casually asked what they thought of the movie before I start projecting any of my criticisms. My uncle thought that it was rubbish. My aunt had nothing much to say besides saying that (spoiler alert) *a**y shouldn't have died. Well, at this point, I started saying my piece too.

Basically, what I thought of the movie was that it was all botched up like a bad case of 'kereta potong' (think Frankenstein meets salvages of many automobile accidents). Really. I mean, you get this 'kereta potong' out of many different parts and try putting it out for show. A person buys it, and he's cruising down the road; maybe he wants to test the speed on his new wheels and he accelarates abit and then, what do you know? Another mishmash.

Really, it could have been better. They shouldn't have tried to combine too may things into one movie. The character development was crap. There were too many loose ends. In a word, I'd say 'terabur' (all over the place). Throw away those scenes that totally interrupted the flow of the story. If there's one thing I remember from listening -repeatedly- to Joss Whedon's 'Serenity' commentary (yes, I'm Headgeek of Jossdom in Malaysia, so sue me) it is that some scenes just gotta go. It may be beautiful, it may be touching, it may make the audience curl up and die with emotion; but if disturbs the show's flow, it's just gotta go... Hence the so very little scenes of Inara in 'Serenity'.

Okay, okay, back to the point. so that's what I thought of the movie. And my uncle? Well, let me just give you a brief intro about my uncle before I begin. He grew up reading comics. You name it, Spiderman, Superman, Batman, The Flash...whatever else. He used to tell me about them. How he used to have the whole collection (damn, imagine how much they would cost now if he still had them?) because his father used to send them to him from the States. So he's a great comicbook heroes fan. All them Marvel comics used to be his forte. Stories about superheroes who fight evil, fighting the bad guys who were always so ugly we would hate them at first sight. The baddies are almost non-human, and we are never sorry to see them defeated or die. My uncle read all these comic books growing up and so that is what he wanted to see.

(Another spoiler alert!)

Instead, watching it, he was disapointed with how the villain apologized, how the villain turned good again and then died right after that, how the villain was so human that all he wanted was to make his daughter better etc... And my aunty mentioned that she hated that 'that' person died too. So this were the criticisms coming from my aunt and uncle. I can't critic them any, seeing how that is their opinion and that it is different from what they would have read in their younger days.

And that suddenly made me wonder, isn't it nice but painfully naive to still want that in a movie? I mean, don't get my wrong, my uncle and aunt both very much have the cynicism of some who has lived and seen the changing of the times (for the worse) since the last 50 something years. I assure you vehemently that they are anything but naive. And yet, that is what they look for in a movie. Black hats versus white hats, a happy ending... I'm guessing, they're still looking for a fairytale amidst all the world has to offer.

And me? I am almost 22. I may not have seen or experienced much but I know alot. Sometimes I think I am too old for my age. And yet, despite that, I am still naive. Of course, not the type of naive that makes me the kind of girl who'd simper and gasp at the talk of anything inappropriate or sit back and let things happen to me cos I am merely a girl and thus have to wait for a manly man to save me (much in the vein of simpering Buffy in 'Halloween'. Not that I object having some suave fella swooping in at the first sign of danger, mind, but I can hold my own as well if it comes to that). But I know that I am.

But then, what is it that I look for in movies that are meant for entertainent; movie shows that are parodies of our lives, a reprieve from the real world so we can forget for a little while? The answer is: I look for a semblance of life. I want things to be real. It may be a story of a superhero whom of course, is not at all possible; but that doesn't mean it cannot be based on life. I want to see that the hero is perfectly flawed like any other human, that the villains are not just villains but human beings who have reasons for what they do, that good people die bacause not everyone lives happily ever after. I want to see the villain's repentance, see that the hero doesn't always prevail and get the girl, I want to see a good person die doing what he believes in.

So what does that make me? On one side I have my aunt and uncle who are looking for a fairytale on the silver screen, perhaps to fall into a story that is non-sensical as a sedative to the real world. And I, on the other hand, look for more realism even when things happening around me are real enough to touch.

Does that make me jaded? Or does it just goes to show how much the generation has changed? How, as time goes by, we cannot hope to show our children Disney movies and make them believe it? Of course, in the end they would have to learn to accept the world, but the children; we would want to preserve their innocence for as long as possible; shield them from the brutality of the world, so we can watch them play carefree without them having age lines from so much worry. we would want them to have their childhood.

And there I go veering off into another vein.

And here I am back.

So is it just me? Or are we all doomed to weariness long before our time?

I hope it's just me. Because, well, awareness and being well informed is all well and good, but sometimes I wish we didn't have to grow up so fast.

"We grew up way too fast, now there's nothing to believe" -'Name' by the Goo Goo Dolls.

I miss the days when we would pretend that we were superheroes and I'd tie a towel around my neck to make a cape trail behind me so that I could be Supergirl. Or how I used to believe I was a Ninja Turtle and I had the whole outfit (Donatello by the way. Always liked the smart ones). I
miss the days when we believed in fairytales.

So, we see things differently. Fairytale versus Realism. Who would win? I am hoping neither; because to tell you the truth, I am a great fan of the grey area.

Oh, how Joss has addled my brain so.

Hmmm, I guess one thing is for certain, my uncle and aunt could never watch Buffy or Angel or Firefly/Serenity with me. Grr arrgh.

Love, Lin~

Grr Arrgh.

No better phrase can possibly hope to sum up the condition of my mind than those two words up there. Well, that is, if you can consider them to be words at all. They are better described as non-words that can either be a verb a noun and even an adjective. Ain't that neat?

I've been rather irritable for the past few, and I'm not altogether comfortable with that fact. That would usually mean several odd hours pondering on whether or not I've hurt anybody in the process; and that would be coupled with the feeling of guilt if I did.

Feeling this way would also bring about a short fuse, me mumbling and ranting to myself, piercing glares, a litany of curses under my breath, among other things. But I'm all chipper otherwise, just don't purposely put out your leg when I'm walking by, then we're five by five.

Heh, I don't really know what the cause for this sudden bout of irritation is. Honestly, everything is all fine and dandy in this space I call my own. Unless....well, that might just be it. But still, even then I hardly am irritable like I am now.

Ah, maybe it's just cos I'm tired. Although, I wasn't tired when I got all pissed about my work being rejected. I was well rested then, but I still felt like taking a flametorch and cindering all trace of paper. Recycling be damned. That would have been a mighty fine ironic end to that piece of rejected work; seeing how it was about pollution. And that is just the beginning of my irritation.

Thinking about it now, this feeling might have come from two little incidents which would have been considered a nothing to someone else's ears; but it was like sticking a hot poker into my ear and into my brain to me. Words like that is an insult to me and mine and it makes me feel less than I am. It is annoying indeed especially since it comes from the mouth of a person who does not know and only wants to believe what he/she believes, even if the evidence is sitting there glaringly.

Well, that solves it. I know where the annoyance came from. And here I was being absolutely sombre with no knowledge why and only now finding out the reason that was no more than 3 or 4 days ago... Oh well, I do always say that my mind is Dory-like at its worst.

Having that out of my mind, at last I can get myself a restful mind whilst I try to catch some Zs. Had a good old crack at my brain earlier to get myself to write a new narration for Fairuz's advert and my nap was rather fitful earlier; so it's best I close shop for the night.... Although, with my mind being somewhat overworked, that would probably lead to some very odd dreams tonight... I'd better gear myself for some reality testing. Maybe I'd achieve lucidity tonight, eh Alfred?

So, anyway, that's all for now. My mind's somewhat clearer now so I'm carpe diem-ing the time to do some things that does not need my irritable bias-ness. And by the way, just cos I figured this all out doesn't mean I'd be whistling a jaunty tune up and down the hallways. Bottom line is, don't rain on my parade, and my vice would pretty much be versa.

Love, Lin~

DISCLAIMER: I obviously do not own Mutant Academy. If I did, I would think that the Grr Arrgh Monster would sound a bit more feminine. NO copywright infringement is intended. "Grr Arrgh" remains to be that of the EVIL GENIUS, JOSS WHEDON.

This should have been said on the 10th of March.

Well, I know it's belated, what, with this being three days late and all.... But at least I remembered. It was just that it is only now that I've gotten a chance to get online, so it's only now that I can post this... So, anyways:

HAPPY 10th ANNIVERSARY

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE

SLAYER!

Thanks Joss and crew for the lovely memories... the smiles and the tears... Thank you for creating and sharing such beutiful characters whose life and deaths have been the source of inspiration to so many of my thoughts and ideas. Thanks even for giving me the opportunity to get to know so many people around the world who shares the same love. Thanks for the wonderful decade.

JOSS IS BOSS!

"The more you live in this world,the more you see how apart from it you really are."
- Whistler, Becoming 1 Season 2

I think I now see the disease that has slowly been making me feel more and more hollow as each day passes. Not emptying the words into this chosen vessel of mine makes it worse I suppose; filling emptiness with emotions that are not made flesh... That's a recipe for disaster if you are me.

Yes, the disease... It's possible that I don't need to mention the incident that caused so much despair in me. It's been a constant theme throughout the past few months, I need not cause myself so much heartache. I've exhausted enough tears and energy into expressing them both in words and in actions to want to mention it again. It starts there, with my loss.

I made myself detached after that, not wanting to live in the now and having to connect with everything and everyone around me. I wanted to be left alone. Well, not really. I wanted to be held so badly but I'd rather be alone than be surrounded by half-hearted attempts at comfort or words that hold no understanding. I wanted so much to just drift away into my own mind.
Since then, I've been finding a way to feel again. And I managed that after a long talk with a dear friend over Italian food and drinks. He made me find that spark again and I see it, and now I need to catch up with it.

Now this is where the problem lies. After so long of lying so dormant without my usual zest, I've found myself a bit worse for wear from he lack of use. The second hand emotions that have been feeding me with me on my back has made me sluggish with rust.

I was awake yet catatonic, now I have to remember how to function normally again.

I realize that I was absent from the world this whole length of time. I think I stopped believing for a while; not in terms of faith but the belief in ever finding comfort or my belief that I can keep on being all that I believe I am (does that make sense?). I think I lost me, and I've found me now...It's just that I have to put the pieces back together.

I guess I believed that my strength will never wane. I know deep down that that's not realistic, one can't possibly expect something to last. But I did not expect things to go that way. But then again, possibly it's a test of sorts for me.

It's like how Angel felt in TCToNC Ep6S5. He felt so disconnected and disheartened that he forgot himself. He stopped believing in the Shanshu Prophecy. He felt like it was all useless and that it was just some fairytale story to make things seem that it will all be shiny at the end of all things.

And that was how I felt. I got so disconnected that I felt so weary and jaded and stopped believing in a part of myself that keeps me going.

So now, it's about me taking hold of the wheel again. It's time to come back to the world and do myself justice again. And most importantly, I must begin writing again. For ultimately, it was my lack of expression that led me down deeper into my gloom. And this is how it begins again....I hope.

Love, Lin~

We have to keep on fighting even when it is an endless struggle. Have faith. Believe. The rising dark may always seem to be too tough to overcome, but we have to keep on fighting. I've always believed so and will continue believing....

"GingerBread" Season 3, Episode 11

Buffy: So I battle evil. But I don't really win. The bad
just keeps coming back and getting stronger.
Angel: Buffy,you know, I'm still figuring things out. There's
a lot that I don't understand. But I do know it's
important to keep fighting. I learned that from you.
Buffy: But we never--
Angel: We never win.
Buffy: Not completely.
Angel: We never will... That's not why we fight. We do it
'cause there's things worth fighting for.

"I Believe" by Blessid Union of Souls

Walk blindly to the light and reach out for his hand
Don't ask any questions and don't try to understand
Open up your mind and then open up your heart
And you will see that you and me aren't very far apart

'Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way

Violence is spread worldwide and there are families on the street
And we sell drugs to children now oh why can't we just see
That all we do is eliminate our future with the things we do today
Money is our incentive now so that makes it okay

But I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way

I've been seeing Lisa now for a little over a year
She said she's never been so happy but Lisa lives in fear
That one day daddy's gonna find out she's in love
With a black man from the streets
Oh how he would lose it then but she's still here with me
'Cause she believes that love will see it through
And one day he'll understand
And he'll see me as a person not just a black man

'Cause I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
I believe I believe I believe I believe that love is the answer
I believe that love will find the way
Love will find the way
Love will find the way
Love will find the way
Please love find the way
Please love find the way

"Love.
You can learn all the math
in the 'verse...but you take a boat in
the air that you don't love...she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the worlds. Love keeps her in the air
when she ought to fall down...tells you she's hurting
before she keels. Makes her a home."

-the wise words of Captain Malcolm Reynolds

Love, Lin~