Sup3rnality

So many days and nights
So many hours spent on fights
And all those seconds ticked by,
like reason without rhyme
And all those moments gone
to end in this moment in time.
Tell me, where do I begin?
So many words, yet this is the end.
This is the end.
Oh God, this is the end.
Take my hand now, our time is ending
Let's take this last moment before parting.
Let me take the hurt, all the blame
Let me ease all the anger and the pain
Let me say the words you need to hear
Let me take away all your fear.
Take my hand now, and let's just burn
Set us on fire and let it burn.

In the absence of words, the loudness of gestures and expression is amplified almost deafeningly. And often, the crease of a brow, the furrow of a frown and the quirk of the lips could say a million more things than an exchange of words ever could.

If there is one thing that could make me love a movie or series or love it more, other than an engaging plot, is when they find it to emphasize and/or punctuate a scene with the right degree of facial expressions.

Another reason as to why Joss' creations have such a hold on me is that he takes the time to focus on the characters face and gestures, and it makes a scene that more powerful in my eyes. I mean, just look at Hush. No, I did not started liking this aspect in movies/series because of Joss; I liked him more because he fed my need for not just plot and words, but the most natural reaction a person has before words take over.

In BtVS, Joss has many a time moved me to tears by scenes that has simply been wordless, but so strong. Or it can be an exchange between two people without a word being uttered, but the eyes communicate so much.

So below are my favourites, in no particular order.

1. Wild at Heart, Season 4
   
   Easily one of the saddest episodes of the lot, WaH saw Oz "cheating" on Willow with Veruca, and him deciding to leave Willow to find himself and hopefully rein in the wolf inside. The last few minutes of the episode, when Oz walks out of the room and out of Willow's life and into his van, there is that shot of him behind the wheel and the run of emotions on his face. The play of emotions that ranged from determination, sadness, regret and just being torn was too heartbreaking to bear. Not a word uttered, just his emotions fighting one another for dominance. And determination wins over, and he drives away.
    
2. Becoming 2, Season 2
   
   Like WaH, Becoming 2 had Angel leaving Buffy, but now by his choice, but at her realization that she has no other option but to sacrifice him for the rest of the world. And her expression one too painful to watch. As he held her, oblivious to what's happening, we see her face changing from happiness and gladness, then to realization, to horror, to sadness and to heartbreak. In those brief moments she had Angel back, she had to push away happiness to make way for conscience and the knowledge that the world she was entrusted to protect could only survive if she killed the person she loved. And in those few moments she had to make a decision that had no options. At the last moment, we see her steel herself, stabs him, then watch her breakdown. I never fail to be moved to tears.
   
   
3. Fool for Love, Season 5
   
   
   
   
   One of my favourite episodes, as it chronicles Spike's history, and how he became the man, or should I say vampire, he currently is. At the very last scene before the episodes ends, we see Buffy sitting on the porch in the backyard, crying after finding out that her mother is sick. Spike, who was determined to finish Buffy off once and for all, came charging to end her with a blow from a shotgun. But he stopped as he saw the distraught Slayer, with tear-streaked cheeks in all vulnerability. We see him soften, goes to sit next to her, pats her reassuringly (if not a bit awkwardly) on her shoulder and volunteers his company, without saying a single word. On her face we see a sort of gratefulness, as the two natural enemies sit side by side; worlds apart but sharing the same space to help the other cry. (Sometimes when you need to cry, all you really need is someone to hold you and not say anything.)
   
   
4. The Body, Season 5
   This one needs no explanation. What words can you possibly utter when your mother dies?
   
   
5. Hell's Bells, Season 6
   
   The part when Xander cannot put into words why he cannot marry Anya, and Anya's face just crumples and she pulls her hand away from his hold, and it drops to her side, dejected and rejected. Her face when she walks down the aisle alone puts a lump in my throat, unable to look at her as she feels all the dreams she had seeping away from her. She didn't need to cry, it was all there on her face.
   
   
6. Helpless, Season 3
   
   
   
   This episode is when Buffy had to go through a centuries-old test that every Slayer is put through by the Watcher's Council when and if she turns 16. It is a sadistic and draconian test that hardly serves much of a purpose other than the Watcher's (metaphorically representing the sexist patriarchs) exerting their power over the Slayers. Giles, who has grown to love Buffy as a daughter and not merely his charge and job, had no choice but to put her through this test, which included having him to inject her with doses that would incapacitate her. Realizing the mistake he was making, he told her about this test (Slayers aren't supposed to know), but by then, the damage was done. Buffy felt betrayed, and flinched from him. But in a different moment later, when all is forgiven, there is the tender moment between them as he tends to her wounds, in all the silence he begs for her forgiveness, and he gets it, as she lets him clean her cuts.
   
   
7. Grave, Season 6
   
   
   
   
   A broken Willow gone dark because of Tara's death is filled with so much pain that she just wants to end the world and all its suffering. She conjures everything in her power to bring down the world that is so full of hate and pain so that no one has to feel anymore. Then comes Xander, who tells her "You've been my best friend my whole life...world's gonna end, where else would I wanna be", and then holds her while she comes back down to earth. His simple gesture spoke a thousand words and communicated all the love he had for his dearest friend, whom in all her scorn and anger, was merely a girl who lost the love of her life and didn't know how to grieve.

"There is a major Season 8 spoiler out there, one that no one wanted to see early, and that was released by accident."
- Scott Allie

One of the first things I did right after I swung my legs to the side of the bed, planted them on the floor, and got up to walk, was to turn on my laptop and checked my e-mails. Yes, I'm that far gone and that deep in the technology quicksand. But hey, when you think about it, I live in Cyberjaya and it promotes all sorts of cyber-ness--even if it is not as cyber-y as it sounds--and in spite of that, is disconnected from the outside world. So yeah, being where I am I should be living my life ITly and also because the internet is my saving grace to ensure I don't spiral into a black hole of loneliness.

Anyway, I digress, so back to my story. On top of my unread mail was my daily Whedon.info digest, with consists of anything and everything recent about and connected to the Whedonverse which is condensed into clickable links. The links itself are the headlines, so you can click on them headlines to be directed to the article itself and read on.

I stopped dead when I saw
""Buffy The Vampire Slayer" Movie Remake - It’s more than a rumor".

I clicked. And I read on.

My reaction?

Hell, NO.

A Whedonverse without the man, Whedon, himself?

Hell, NO.

There is no room for discussion. No room for reasoning. No room for debate.

I'd rather have no BtVS than have no Whedon. I know that the 'verse that Joss had painstakingly created would be shattered to bits. We've seen it done before in the first movie. And it sure as hell ain't surprising if it happens again.

I mean, the movies now are full of remakes. And I've seen many of my childhood favourites destroyed one by one. My memories now marred by some so-called new take or angle of a once popular show. Their "revolutionary" ideas on how it can be made 'contemporary' ruining the very essence of the show. I've seen it with Alvin and the Chipmunks, Ninja Turtles, Transformers etc. And then there was Indiana Jones 4 and Terminator 3. And how bout them stories like Dragonball and Streetfighter? I'm not a fan, but even I know those two were terribly butchered.

So a BtVS remake but in a different timeline so to not touch the world Joss created?

Hell, NO.

The beauty of the Whedonverse is that Joss builds the legends and myths and history around his stories tightly. So one pull at a strand can unravel this carefully woven, complex world. So it should not be touched. Not unless Joss intervenes. Others may think differently, but in my opinion, Joss is canon. What he thinks out will flow into the myth. It's his myth, after all. And someone else attempting to have a shot at this myth without having Joss be a part of it is murder to that myth. A different timeline might seem to be a way to go to tell the story of Slayers from another angle so to avoid probable contradictions, but I think this is not bloody likely to be the case.

The way I see it, seeing from how there are so many remakes made and being made, alot of people are wanting to jump onto this lucrative bandwagon. All you've gotta do is choose one of the many classics, unearth them, and make them "new" again to gain new fans and interest. And with Whedonites still going strong, there seems to be a market for a new BtVS movie. But a new BtVS movie by someone other than Whedon and his team (think Espenson, Noxon, Minear, Greenwalt, Goddard, DeKnight, Fury and Petrie) and a different timeline? Hell, no. Them bloody "revolutionaries" will rake in the cash and live happily every after, while the stories lie in the dust, doomed to forever be another classic that shoulda stayed buried because they're too cheesy or lame. No young'uns, it's not that. You see, they shoulda been handled the way they should be handled: with care. Their original creators went through much pain making them the way they are; but then some person comes up and thinks they know better cos they're young, and hip and now; but ends up rattling the foundation of the story. And thus, the story slumps in a heap and is forgotten. Never to be revisited again, because everyone will now remember it as a flop. And not for the greatness it once posessed.

So, please, Joss, don't let this happen.

I can see no good coming from this unless you step in.

This is the time for your divine intervention, Joss Whedon.

JWIMMN,
Linzy

• Yes, Facebook has become overrated now that everybody is using it. So what? I don't give a rat's hairy ass that you were among the first to discover the wonders of Facebook or whatnot. That doesn't give you privs to diss all the Malays who have recently started using Facebook to make their pathetic life more meaningful. It's a free (cyber)world that everybody can use, so let them choose what they wanna do with it. If you don't like that set of people, then make your profile private/inaccessible etc. I find it to be a useful tool for me to keep in touch with the kinda friends who love to change their phone numbers every time they blink or those who are now living in countries beyond my reach. Does that make me guilty, too, cos I use Facebook along with everyone? If only a select few used Facebook then where's the fun in that? There'll be no friends to connect with and the activities wouldn't be as fun, and there'll be no one to tag. So, stop dissing people who you think are following fads and are making you uncool. Why don't you stop living since everybody is doing it and see how that treats ya.
  
• Dude, stop deluding yourself and stop calling yourself an alpha male in that self-important voice and all serious-faced cos you can't pull it off. Believe me, you're not. You're not man enough to say that. In fact, a real man won't even need to say that. You're just a boy with big words with no substance to hold yourself up. Lights on with nobody home. I'm sorry, but that doesn't impress me much. Get yourself a troll of girls who love such big talk, and leave us well alone. She says you're only as annoying when I'm around? Well, I suppose it's the only time when a girl don't fall at your feet cos you're so smart and instead challenges every word you say. Get off me and my friend, cos I don't think you can handle our minds. Oh, and while I'm at this, you got no right telling my friend what to wear and how to dress. Just cos she doesn't dress like them skanky girls you follow around in my friend's presence, doesn't make her unsexy. She's sexier being who she is, and not how you want to make her. Take her for the person she is, or leave her well alone.
  
• Stop being so stuck up, girl, cos one day you're gonna realize that you're on the losing end. There's more to life than what that has to fall under your preferences and your perception. The world was made to be diversified, not just the one ideal. The world wouldn't be half as fun if it were. Don't look down on the people you don't see fit to fit into your little world. Acknowledge people for what they are and what they choose to be like or choose to like. There is no one set mould. There is no type. We are all bits and bobs that fit into one another.
• Stop interrupting everything I say, Motormouth. I can never get a word in when you are around. You always have something better to say. You always have a better story to tell. So what? Wait your turn and let other people have a go. Don't jump in when people are mid-sentence or mid-story. It's rude and very hurtful. Stop it.
• Not wanting to generalize, but the foreigners living in my block are terribly dirty. Not all foreigners, but a certain few from certain countries. They seem not to be in the know of the existence of things called garbage bags or trash cans and anything of the like, the things where you put the trash in. It seems so because they never know where to put their trash. They throw all manner of things out the window. Shoes, files, old books/magazines, bottles (glass and plastic), clothes, and anything else they could fling out the window litter the ground outside my window. And being on the lowest floor gives me the luxury of hearing all of that bouncing off the pavement. Oh, and the kitchen window? Well, as mentioned, I'm the one located closest to the ground, so the ledge outside the kitchen is full of old styrofoam boxes gone moldy, stale bread, food that has gone basi and all foodstuff or relating to it. And yes, I've seen the faces of the kinda people who throw them. And yes, the locals do it, too, but there is a certain level of decency to their doing so (if there can be such a thing). I don't care la, foreigner or not, whatever race; just be clean. We all wanna live comfortably, so stop being so goshdarn filthy.
  
• Stop being holier than thou.
• Please please please please please please please please please don't cancel Dollhouse. Don't do this to Joss again. Don't let another Firefly happen.
  
• Something must be done about the cabbies in Cyberjaya who not only not use the meter, but charge twice the fare to head to one's destination. One cabbie who was a newbie used the meter cos he didn't know the route and I saw that the real fare to get from Cyberia to FSBM Plaza was about RM4.50. I've always known it was much lower than my normal 7 or 8 bucks but here I had the proof in plain numbers. Just cos people here are willing to fork out that much cash doesn't give them the right to charge however they like. Come on la, we don't all have a pocketful of cash.
• Why hasn't my gaji come in yet :(

I'm in that dilemma again when I have things I want to pen down, but cannot seem to find the words that could say it in the way I want them to sound. There are a whole bunch of drafts in my "Edit Posts" tab and I cannot find it in me to finish them. I find it annoying. They are a pain as they make me feel like there's a mosquito flying near my ear and breaking my focus and peace; like it just needs to be executed.

Anyway, this will be just a quick update to fill these much empty spaces:

• I....mmmmuuuussstttt.....ssstttoppp.....bbblllogggssshhoppiiinnnggg... Ann, Juliana and I are very bad influences on each other. Eversince we've been hanging, we've been buying more, and sharing postage costs when it's from the same shop, and discussing clothes over brekkie and lunch, and I should really stop. For the month at least. I know I've been on this quest to revamp my wardrobe, but this month I have went overboard. Well, not to the extent that I can't go out or buy food or anything, but I say it is bad because relatively, compared to months before, I would span my spendings throughout the month. This month looks a little bleak because I have run on low by just the second week; so yeah, I should slow down. Otherwise it isn't so bad.
• But yeah, nevertheless, I am hellbent on giving my wardrobe (or in my case, box) a make-over. I want to lessen my looking like a 16 year old girl and getting questions like; Result SPM hari tu macam mana? or Apply kat U mana hari tu?. And despite my company allowing casual wear which I am thankful for, I want to lose the freshgrad look that shouts inexperience!. Reputation needs building again in this new place, and I need to feel secure again. I may have found a place among their ranks but they have yet to know the person I am, how I work, how I deal, how I think. And my looking like a Uni student doesn't help with their talking to me in a simplified way.
  
• Did I mention before that I love my team? If I haven't, well, I love Team Australia B; they rock! :) I feel very comfortable in their cosiness.
• I need to find a new house to move into soon... From my conversations with my housemates, my landlord is looking to move into this house pretty soon. Possibly in June. So I have about a month to look for a place; preferably a master bedroom so that I can have my own bathroom with a price range of RM400-500. But since MMU is still in it's current semester, no one is moving out just yet. And yes, if Ayus doesn't give me confirmation by middle of May about moving in together, either I find myself my own place or I move in with my housemate Juliana.
• I am too far gone in my work that I sub-edit things even when I'm reading random signages, notices, articles and the like. I would see a word and think, "Oh no, that should be in ’ or that should be in curly quotes, or hmm...that should be lawrefed". And yes, I do occasionally dream of commblocks, green/red/black text, and also resolving links :p I need help.
  
• This is more of a Note-to-self rather than an entry, but nevermind; I need to breakaway from my family's Maxis Family Plan and get my own personal line and pay my bills. And I need to pay the instalments for my car. And I need to register for parking soon...urgh, 60 bucks a month. And I need to pay for clearance from IIUM.
• Oh, speaking of car, yes, I've already gotten my silver Perodua Viva. My plate number starts with WSM and I was thinking of what acronym could it possibly be for; and all I could think of is Whedon'S Minion :P I hope to get the car in my clutches by middle of May at least. Here's to hoping... Well, I do have one carkey with me here...
• Good luck, Sayang on your first day of your part-time job. I know you will do great. Not I hope, but I know. You have my support all the way. Go get 'em :) I love you~
  
• Oh yes, and I miss you, Sayang. Rendezvous sometime? ;)

This time, last year...

Notice Spike and Giles?

We were featured in Female Magazine, May 2008; the Movie Issue

After the shoot, Fairuz & Fairuz sent me back to campus. I had a Discourse Analysis presentation at 2pm, so I had to be back and couldn't stay to chat. As soon as I got to campus and reached the bridge just before Nusaibah, I saw Fidzy, Yumi and Lina looking at a wreck of a bike. I opened the window and hollered at them, and they told me that Ash got into an accident; and that the messed up bike they were looking at was the one he was on.

I could have sworn my heart stopped. Went up to the room for a quick change and rushed back down to hear what happened. Thankfully Ash was alright and was now in his room recuperating. I was ridden with guilt so much, cos I wasn't there when it happened. The time it happened was when I'd usually be hanging with the girls. Ash called them to come to the clinic, and I felt so bad that I wasn't there for him.

Later in the afternoon, after class finished and we went to have our usualy drinks at Bangi Kopitiam, I got so worried looking at the scratches all over Ash. But was ever thankful that he was ok.. Despite him hurting and being sore all over, it's just good to see him alright.

A little worse for wear, but thankfully, safe and sound

Of course, nowadays I'm even more thankful that he's alright. Where would I be now if anything happened to him? Would I ever know the things I am feeling now...? That night after we came back from Danau Kota, and was telling the story to Zaza; I felt that pang of sadness and broken-heartedness thinking if Ash was not that lucky...wondered how I would take it; especially because it was previous night that I had that dream. The first of its kind. And it was that point that I realized I cared more for Ash than I knew...only that I didn't know how much--yet.

This is one of the firsts of the domino effect...

Love, Linzy~

I forgot on whose blog I found this, but I just thought it'd be a nice way to pass the time. Besides, the questions seem interesting.

7 facts you may not know about me

• I would have had another sibling three years younger than I am. But my mother miscarried.
• I dislike being called 'Ayin' by my peers. It's a name reserved only for family, whether immediate or extended. But I suppose someone overheard it being used and decided to use it, too. I personally prefer 'Lin' or my actual name, even.
• I was actually due to be born on the 4th of January 1986; and nowhere within 1985.
• I would have been named either Sarah (my mum's idea), Heidi (also mum's) or Azlin (my mother's); but my father objected to all of them, particularly 'Azlin'. Him having the initial 'A' provided him with much experience of being called first for everything.
• I have a birthmark on my right arm; just a darkened patch of skin.
• I only act ditzy for the satisfaction of seeing a person's face change when their perception of me is proven wrong. Or, so to not seem like an exasperating know-all. Or, so to not draw too much attention to myself. But for the most part, to get out of trouble.
• I am of no mix heritage (as far as I know, anyway), nor have I ever lived overseas; contrary to popular belief(s).

7 things that scare me

• Losing the people I love.
• Being the only person left (it's scarier than any horror movie, being alone).
• Bringing my defences down.
• Departing without leaving an impact or change or a contribution.
• Being told that I am insignificant, or not good enough.
• Never marrying and never having my own children.
• Never being able to record everything that crosses my thoughts. Which is why I write alot. Sometimes about utter nonsense. But writing gives me purpose; regardless of content.

7 songs that I like most

• Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
• Always - Bon Jovi
• Angel - Sarah McLachlan
• Who Will Save Your Soul? - Jewel
• Playboy Mommy - Tori Amos
• I'll Be - Edwin McCain
• Strong - Robbie Williams

7 phrases that I say the most

• Bloody hell.
• What the heck? or What the frickin' hell...?
• Tulaa pasal... (yes, Hamz. I'm still using it til this day)
• ...lah.
• Yep yep.
• Okey dokey.
• No problemo.

7 of my precious things
We talking about people, inanimate objects, or both? I'll go for objects; for people, the list is too long.

• My Claddagh ring
• My laptop
• My phone
• My collection of Whedonverse-related stuff
• My collection of photographs (whether digital or in print)
• My journals
• My poetry

7 memorable first times

• *that*
• oh yeah, that
• uh-huh, that, too
• not to forget that ;)
• also that
• definitely that, and
• that!

7 friends to tag

• Encik Sedilku
• Fidzy
• Bella
• Idzaid
• Sarah
• Anis
• Yanna
• ...and actually everyone else who's a regular reader. Sorry I can't tag everyone. But you know who you are :)

Love, Hazlin~

Or theories, more like.

After finding out that my entire stash of BtVS S8 comics had gotten damp because of God-knows-what, I had to iron out every single page to crispy flatness. I panicked when I found them all crinkly and stuck together, and almost had a panic attack. Thankfully, I managed to peel the pages apart safely and the only tell-tale signs now that they ever got wet is the slight yellowish discolouration. But even that makes me rather pissed...but well, better than having them ruined.

But anyway, after ironing them, I took to rereading them from the beginning to catch any details that might have been overlooked before. Now that I am catching up with the plot, it's good to look back and detect whatever that will foreshadow the future; which is a signature Joss style.

Rereading them comics had me wondering who Twilight is. He strikes me as a character that that knows Buffy well; and as someone we audience have seen before... But who? And why? So I started making an inventory of the likely suspects:

1. Caleb - his sexist statement "Just like a girl" and his knowing "that move" reminds me alot of that scary preacher guy (nevermind the fact that the same actor is my beloved Captain Reynolds). But he got halved, and should be dead...
2. Angel - I've read this theory somewhere, and there is some truth to it; especially the frame where he holds Buffy's face close (issue #11), it looks exactly like the move Angelus pulled in Season 2. Plus, Angelus' advice to Spike once was that to kill Buffy, you have to love her, and to know where her weakness lies; and Twilight's speech at the end of Issue #11 is reminiscent of that.
3. Spike - Only because of Twilight's build. Oh, and the fact that Spike is not quite a fan of magic. Other than that, I doubt it is Spike...but who knows? His Yoko Factor strategy is coming to play again, as seen in Issue #9. But the accent is all wrong. So, maybe not...?
4. Ethan Rayne - He crossed my mind, but since he's dead, it couldn't be him...or is he? After all, death doesn't nececssarily mean the end in the Buffyverse.
5. Xander - After the Fray crossover, and Willow (of the future) dying and all; I kept wondering what happened to Xander? Where does Xander fit into the future? Surely what happened between Willow and Buffy has Xander in the mix. They are after all, the original three. So I'm not totally ruling out a future Xander bitter at Buffy for all the heartache he's been through. And that line "My first gift is my last"...kinda reminds me of the fact that Xander gave Buffy life, and he wants to take it away... I know that doesn't really link up nicely, but it's one of my strongest theories. Oh, and the part when Twilight scratches his neck? It was like when Xander thought he was gonna get gills and turn into the sea creature in Season 2's Go Fish. And the next frame has Satsu reiterating that people who love Buffy get hurt...and Xander is definitely a candidate.
6. Riley - He got scratched out of my list as soon as I read Issue #21. I mean, what the heck?

I can't think of anymore. I'm trying to shortlist a few more candidates that seem to fit the bill, but no one else is coming to mind at the moment. Oh, and when I started writing this, I actually had my strongest of suspicions that it is Angel...but as I began elaborating, I realized that my money's on Xander. Anyone care to share theories?

Love, Hazlin~

P/s: I wrote this in a hurry, so excuse the half-baked theories and explanations. Will (hopefully!) explain with as much finesse as I can muster soon...especially on the bit about Xander. Til then!

I've met another Whedonite! I've met another Whedonite!

As it turns out, Juliana, my fellow new recruit, the person whom I carpool with, the one whom I walk to work and joke with, go for training with and sometimes have lunch and get chased by dogs with is a Whedonite. Yes, a Whedonite. And here I thought they were becoming extinct.

I discovered it over lunch while I was explaining to her why I don't watch much tv; about how a certain Director Extrodinnaire have ruined me for tv. I just opened my mouth to say "His shows are Buff..." and Juliana says, "Oh, you mean Joss Whedon? I love his shows!"... And I am left dumbfounded with my mouth hanging open.

We talked for over an hour...Discussing episodes and season and characters. We talked about Dollhouse, Firefly/Serenity and Dr. Horrible...Yup, Linzy was in her element, and I had to pause and tell her that this is what happens when you get me started. Before long, we realized we're already late and should've been back in the office about 10 minutes ago :p

It's a relief for me to let go; because a huge part of me is influenced by Joss Whedon's philosophy and thought. And to be able to discuss it freely and have the other person know what you are talking about is a rare treat for me. I mean, I know people who watch those shows, but not many would know scenes and certain characters and quotes and all those little details. People whom I actually know who are in the know of the Whedonverse are only a handful...and you know who you guys are :)

So, me over here, somewhere in my mind is doing Numfar's Dance of Joy.

JWIMMN (for the benefit of those not in the know, it means Joss Whedon is My Master Now),
Hazlin

I read this article this morning, from my trusty Whedon.info newsletter I get in my inbox every now and then. And reading it gave my heart the familiar tug whenever I watch some of them scenes here in the list. It's just one of those reasons that keeps Whedonites coming back for more. After all, Joss said once, "I don't give them what they want, I give them what they need".

It's the strong emotions that Joss invoke that make you feel the reality of the show despite its fantasy-like setting. And that's the point; because no matter how insane life gets, the reality of it is that we all bleed and we all die. Even if you get resurrected, life is still temporary, and you can be swept off your feet even before you set foot.

And that's the beauty of the Whedonverse.

By the way, I just realized that Yanna has posted a similar post :)

Anyway, here's the article:

My favourites are #3, 4, 6, 7...Ah crap, I love them all. But I cried the hardest watching Joyce, Fred, and Angel die. And not to forget Season 8 #19 when Willow dies... I cried while I was sitting on the bench in front of Kinokuniya after buying it.

Joss Whedon’s 16 Most Painful Character Deaths

Joss Whedon’s new series Dollhouse debuts tonight. How long till one of the characters is killed in some heartbreaking and horrifying way? Only time can tell. In the meantime, let’s reflect on some of Joss’s previous victims… namely, the sixteen which most affected the plots of their respective series. When you have a list like this that’s narrowed down to the top sixteen, you know you’re dealing with a serious offender. Many, MANY characters have died in Joss’s works, but it would be impossible to name them all. Obviously, spoilers abound in this article, so if you’re not up to date on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly & Serenity, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, or Astonishing X-Men, you might want to avert your eyes.

Buffy The Vampire Slayer

1. Buffy Summers (”Prophecy Girl” and “The Gift”)

"Hey, I’ve died twice..."

It’s not often that the main character of a show is killed off — let alone the title character, let alone TWICE. But that’s exactly how both Season 1 and Season 5 end, with Buffy sacrificing herself to save the world. The difference is that she’s brought back to life within a few minutes in “Prophecy Girl,” while viewers had to spend the summer between seasons 5 and 6 wondering how on earth UPN was going to pull off the show with Buffy dead. But even knowing her death was unlikely to be permanent didn’t make watching it happen any less emotional an ordeal.

2. Jenny Calendar (”Passion”)

"This is where you get off."

When Angel loses his soul and becomes Angelus, it is unclear at first how evil he really is. Sure, he’s callous toward Buffy after their consummation, but until he breaks Jenny Calendar’s neck he hasn’t done anything truly horrific. Possibly even worse than the murder itself, however, is his cruel joke on Giles thereafter. Come to think of it, his careful planning and his uncanny ability to find the most excruciating way to torment his “audience” is reminiscent of Joss himself.

3. Angel (”Becoming Part 2″)

"Close your eyes."

As Angelus, Angel had opened a portal to a hell dimension (how many of those are there, anyway?) and only his death would close it. The fact that Buffy would have to kill him to save the world, then, is awful enough. But to make matters worse, Willow’s spell to restore Angel’s soul works just in time, yet not — too late to prevent the portal from being opened, yet in time to get back his puppy-dog eyes as Buffy rams a sword through him and shoves him into hell. Ouch.

4. Joyce Summers (”I Was Made To Love You”)

"Mom? What are you doing?"

As one of the few non-supernatural deaths during the show’s run, Joyce’s is particularly shocking and disturbing. Her tumor had been removed earlier in the season and everything seems to be looking up — never a good sign in the Jossverse. The realism with which her death is treated in the following episode, “The Body,” is almost unheard of in fiction, which makes it ache all the more.

5. Tara Maclay (”Seeing Red”)

"Your shirt."

Like Joyce, Tara is killed not by magic or demons, but something more familiar: an angry kid with a gun, a stray shot not even meant for her. As a “natural” death, it is irreversible, even by Willow. More than any other death in the show’s history, Tara’s directly affects major actions that follow; i.e. Evil!Willow and her killing spree of pain. It’s also one of the few times a character dies and doesn’t return in any form (a
deliberate choice made by Amber Benson to preserve the integrity of the character she portrayed so lovingly).

6. Anya (”Chosen”)

"Bunnies. Floppy, hoppy, bunnies."

As a regular character for four seasons, Anya had become a fan favorite and one of the most vital members of the Scooby Gang. So it’s a shock when, instead of the usual drawn-out death in her lover’s arms, she’s sliced in half so quick you could easily miss it. Though it seems unfair for her to go out this way, it fits perfectly with the
tone of the episode. No one is safe, and with thousands of casualties in one battle, there’s no time for glamorous deaths.

7. Spike (”Chosen”)

"I want to see how it ends."

OK, so maybe Spike gets a glamorous death. As the self-appointed “champion,” he uses the amulet given to Angel by Lilah Morgan (crossover alert!) to cleanse the Hellmouth of its evil. Unfortunately for him, this involves him burning up from the inside out and exploding in a brilliant ray of effulgence (that’s right, effulgence).
Fortunately for his fans, he would return on the final season of Angel just a few months later.

Angel

8. Doyle (”Hero”)

"Too bad we’ll never know if this is a face you could learn to love."

The first casualty of Angel’s spinoff series, Doyle was a lovable character from the start and it was a shock to see him go so soon, especially as Cordelia finally seems to be noticing his affection for her. Reportedly, he was written off due to Glenn Quinn’s real life drug problems and, sadly, Glenn himself died of an overdose in 2002.

9. Darla (”Lullaby”)

"This child... Angel, it’s the one good thing we ever did together."

Considered a villain for most of her run on Buffy and Angel, Darla miraculously becomes pregnant with Angel’s son — a human — after their romp in Season 2’s “Reprise.” With the mortal baby’s soul inside her, she develops a sense of morality she hasn’t felt in centuries. As a result, she selflessly stakes herself to save her baby’s life.

10. Cordelia Chase (”You’re Welcome”)

"That chick’s in rough shape."

After having spent half of Season 4 possessed by an evil goddess and the other half (plus half of Season 5) in a coma, it seemed Cordelia would never get the closure she deserved. Thankfully, the episode “You’re Welcome” gives her that closure, as she seems to recover from her coma, back to her old self. But at the end of the episode, it’s revealed that she returned only in spirit form, just long enough to tell Angel goodbye and share with him one last vision before she dies. All along, she knows this, yet keeps it to herself; the irony born from Angel’s ignorance is what makes her death so bittersweet.

11. Winifred “Fred” Burkle (”A Hole In The World”)

"Please, Wesley, why can’t I stay?"

Just two episodes after Cordelia’s death, the show lost its other female lead, at least strictly speaking. After being infected with the essence of Illyria, an “Old One,” Fred’s life slowly fades away. In a turn of events which is both relieving and distressing, the demon who has invaded her continues to possess her body. Thus, the character is not completely gone, and Illyria has the ability to impersonate Fred, but Fred herself is truly dead.

12. Wesley Wyndam-Pryce (”Not Fade Away”)

"We’ll be together."

After Fred’s death, tortured-soul Wesley becomes even more broken than usual. Having his memories of all that Connor drama returned doesn’t help matters, either. During the final fight of the series, Wesley is killed in a sorceror’s battle with Cyvus Vail — though from a knife stab to the abdomen, not magic. Illyria enters to see him mortally wounded, and asks if wants her to lie to him — to be Fred. He agrees, and dies in Fred’s arms as she did in his.

Serenity

13. Shepherd Book

"Can’t order me around, boy. I’m not one of your crew."

With nine cast regulars on the series Firefly, it was only a matter of time before one of them bit the dust. But, as it was so short-lived, Joss had no time to flex his murdering muscles. So when the show’s sequel movie came along, he had to make up for lost time by killing two of the nine. Shepherd Book, who appears in the film more as a supporting character than as part of the main cast, dies at the hands of the movie’s villain, The Operative. Rather unceremoniously, Mal and the gang are forced to use his body, along with those of his fallen neighbors, to desecrate Serenity in order to disguise her from the Reavers.

14. Hoban “Wash” Washburne

"I’m a leaf on the wind."

After Book, it seems unlikely that another member of the crew would be killed within the same movie. We’re caught off guard when Wash, declaring himself “A leaf on the wind,” is skewered by a Reaver ship’s harpoon, dying instantly. Naturally, this comes shortly after a conversation between Zoe and Wash about starting a family as soon as this crisis ends.

Astonishing X-Men

15. Kitty Pryde (Giant-Size Astonishing X-Men #1)

"God, give me strength."

Though Joss’s stint writing Astonishing X-Men was relatively brief, he ended it in his signature style: by killing his favorite character. In the final issue of his four-part arc, a giant bullet is fired at Earth by an alien race. In order to prevent the bullet from destroying the planet, Kitty Pryde (incidentally, one of Joss’s inspirations for Buffy) uses her power to phase the bullet through the Earth. Unfortunately, she is unable to stop the bullet from continuing its trajectory through space, so she is doomed to ride it indefinitely. Presumably, she will at some point be too exhausted to continue phasing it through objects in its path, and it will crash into something. Since she is not actually seen dying, it’s likely she will return to the Marvel universe eventually (it is a comic book, after all!).

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

16. Penny

"It’s OK. Captain Hammer will save us..."

An experiment in web media, Dr. Horrible quickly became a cult phenomenon. Told in three acts, it is a musical about a wannabe supervillain driven by his love for Penny, a sweet, benevolent girl who is, unfortunately, more enamored by his nemesis, Captain Hammer. The first two acts are dark yet playful, as Dr. Horrible at first seems to not be very good at being evil. But in the third act, when he tries to kill Captain Hammer, a tragic series of events ensues which culminates in the inadvertent death of Penny. Some argue that her death is necessary for Dr. Horrible to truly begin his journey into villainy, while others are exasperated that Joss seems to have gotten fixated on his characteristic killing-off-the-love-interest device. Perhaps it’s both.

Love,

Linzy the Whedonite

I read this post on Facebook which was put up by Idzaid and thought it'd be fun to list out these 25 random things about myself. Turns out, it was quite harder than I thought. My typing slowed down at about #11 or so, and I had to think hard about what else was there about myself that I could actually publish for public consumption. So, I ended up with this list... Maybe I'll add another 25 more if I think of any :)

Tagged by Idzaid Idros

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you!

1. I am in love.
2. I am acrophobic and ranidaphobic.
3. When I was a kid, I loved science very very much and wanted to be either a scientist or a doctor/vet. I'll actually watch them documentaries with operations in them. As time went by, they were reduced to being just hobbies. Now, I know for sure that even if I was good at it, I can never see myself doing anything of the sort.
4. I, for the life of me, cannot ride a bike.
5. My biggest fear is rejection.
6. I got the inspiration to pursue English as a degree (and hopefully more) and also as a career when I was 11; from my cousin-in-crime, Kak Ana.
7. When I'm in my own space, clothing is optional...hehe, I have nudist tendencies. That's why I try to avoid sharing rooms :p (Thankfully, in my new apartment, I'll have the master bedroom all to myself)
8. I can watch all sorts of graphic, bloody movies where people get cut up, or lose their limbs in battle or get tortured etc. And while watching, I can nonchalantly eat. But show me or let me hear someone brushing their teeth, and I start gagging.
9. I know I'm weird, but it's ok if you want to tell me that; I kinda like it.
10. My vice is clothes. I can never have too many of them. And lingerie, too. (It's such an irony, cos it clashes with point #7)
11. For many years now, I've been dreaming of owning a cafe. It should have a cosy atmosphere with regular open mic nights. Think 'The Bronze' without the dancing, or perhaps 'The Espresso Pump'.
12. I always have dreams where I'm the commander on the frontlines of war. Often I'd dream about the preparations before the battle, or about the end, where I'd give my life to save another.. Quite gloomy. Anyone a dream reader?
13. My Deadly Sins ranked, as suggested by Tickle.com, are as follows: 1. Pride, 2. Lust, 3. Greed, 4. Gluttony, 5. Sloth, 6. Envy, and 7. Wrath.
14. My ultimate dream in life is to get married to the man I love, have wonderful kids, make my family happy and have a fulfilling life.
15. I want to write a paper that would first of all affirm the importance of literature. With that being said, I'd continue to present how literature influences/provokes discourse and thinking/ideas/philosophy, whilst merging it with the Whedonverse.
16. I have a slight case of OCD. Some things need to be a certain way or I get a mite tetchy.
17. I have an obsession for cheese.
18. I think Nature's best wonders are the smell of rain, the dawn/sunset and waterfalls.
19. I hope to be a scholar, have a good career, be the daughter that my parents can be proud of, be a good wife, be a good mother, and be a good person overall.
20. I am perpetually optimistic, even when I'm complaining.
21. When I'm charged and determined, I have this song playing in my head: These Boots Were Made for Walking.
22. I'm glad to say that throughout my life (so far), a majority of my friends, old and new, have stood by me and stayed friends. This, I feel, is a great accomplishment. You guys know who you are :)
23. The most important things in life, to me, are: Family, Friends and Faith. In a word: Love.
24. My favourite movie themes are: War, Dystopia, History/Periodic, Horror/Thriller.
25. My thoughts, ideas and discourse are majorly influenced by Joss Whedon (i.e. Buffy, Angel, Firefly/Serenity, Dr. Horrible's Sing-along Blog)

Love, Lin~

I have been cracking my head about what I would want to get myself with my first salary. It's dumb, I know, to have it go about in my head and making it work overtime. But hey, it's my first first salary and I've never had a big sum of money for me to splurge on myself. My own money. Not money I have to rely on parents to get. To get myself something that I would otherwise not buy for reasons, such as it being too much of a firestarter that would burn more than a hole in my wallet or it is too much of a luxury to fork out cash for and many other reasons; is a dream come true. Believe me, eventhough I do spend alot on alot of this and that, I never splash my cash for just one thing. I don't ever remember buying just one thing that costs more than RM100. I'm that kedekut with myself. Not intentionally, but it's not like money grows on trees for me.

So I've been thinking what I want to get myself. I was thinking CDs at first, since I only buy one CD per year or sometimes in 2 years or more (I think the last full priced CD--eBay doesn't count--I bought was in 2006 or so) cos they're ridiculously priced. And maybe books, but saving money or not, I prefer to buy at Payless cos then I can have a variety and would not feel so guilty in forking out about RM40 for just one book that I may or may not like. Clothes also came to mind, but I buy clothes very often and I never shop at branded stores anyway, so it's not much out of the ordinary nor is it a luxury item. I also thought of quirky household items I so often ogle at in magazines, but the novelty for things like that wear off fast for me. I want something that I can look at again and again and be so proud to own.

So what else do I love that would make me giddy with pleasure at being able to own it at long last?

When in doubt, turn to the Whedon. I was browsing darkhorse.com and I saw the beautiful images of the Buffy comic covers, and I got my answer. I wanted to own every piece of BtVS comics ever made. Sure I have some loose ones here and there and (so-far) the complete set of BtVS Season 8, but I want the collection. I want them all neatly compiled in one place. So, that's it, my first salary will be spent on the Buffy the Vampire Slayer Omnibus 1 (mind you, there are about 5, methinks, so far).

It's a little bit like counting the chicks before they hatch, I know, but there's no harm in dreaming, is there?

Love, Lin~

P/S: I also have to get myself BodyShop's Amorito EDT to replace my Bath & Bodyworks Tutti Dolci: Chocolate Fondue before someone bans me from buying any other perfume :p

"Editing subs", said a friend of Ayus' when Ayus called to ask her what a sub-editor does, as well as how the test would be like.

That explains alot, I thought to myself.

Well, no help there, so I thought I'd just go it alone with whatever skills I have. Yes, today is interview day with Wolters-Kluwer in Cyberjaya, and I was told that I would have to sit for a test to determine whether I really qualify as an editor. When they called me yesterday, they also told me that I was qualified for two posts, so my test would also more or less which post I am more suitable for.

So I got there just before the appointed time, which was at 2pm. Earlier I took the komuter to Bandar Tasik Selatan, took the ERL to the Putrajaya station and got a cab to Ayus' place in Cyberia, Cyberjaya. I got ther s little after 9am, so I spent some time lepaking with the Fairuzs and also had brunch at OldTown. Later they sent me off to FSMB Plaza where the office was.

The office had a very friendly atmosphere to it that I liked. Everyone there seemed high on something and were all so hyper and happy and goofy. I guess that was a good sign. And also, I overheard the guy who called me yesterday, Mr. Raymond, tell his assistant that he's been looking forward to see me. Definitely another good sign. When they handed me the test and led me to a room for me to answer it, I saw the questions and thought it's something that I could do and would love to do. A major good sign.

Ok, lets not get ahead of ourselves.

The test consisted of three sections. The first one was an essay that I had to proofread and edit. I found that one easy, if a little tricky. There were spelling mistakes that were almost undetectable, and subtle mistakes that you would have just passed by (i.e.: the essay was about potatoes, and out of nowhere, it said carrots in a particular sentence). But in an essay, everything is in one specific context, so it was not a problem. The second part however, was similar in my having to correct whatever mistakes, but they were in sentences, which have been taken out of context, thus you aren't very very sure whether something you think is wrong, is. Also, I also had to edit them for length, so I had to cut out words that were unnecessary, even if I thought they should be there. The last section was to test the way I express myself in words, my vocab, my grammar and sentence structures. So I had to write an essay, which is based on a topic I had to choose out of three options. I chose the one that asked what I would to with 100k if it just happened to appear in my account. I had fun writing that.

After the test, which I was given an hour for, I was told I could leave, and they'd probably call me next week, seeing how tomorrow is Friday and they had about 10 pages to look through. I thanked them and left feeling good. The test felt good, and with the little pick-me-up I had from yesterday's interview, I felt that I was close to something. When I was leaving, many people in the lift was wishing me luck, and were saying that they looked forward to seeing me as a permanent fixture in the office. So, another major goodness sign.

I went shopping with Fairuzs after that at Alamanda. My feet were killing me cos I borrowed my mom's sandals, and it was hard and uncomfortable. But I survived anyway walking back and forth, here and everywhere in the mall.

When we got back to the car, and were about to leave, which was already around 5pm, I got a call and it was from Mr. Raymond. He told me that I had passed the test and all that was left was to come for an interview tomorrow at 10am. I was frickin' ecstatic! I passed. I passed?! I passed!!! If I was standing, I would have done the Dance of Joy like Numfar would.

Ayus, who overheard, was already plotting how she'd get her housemate to move out, anticipating me moving in with her :p

Really, I was so happy. I was mostly scared of the test. I mean, I know my grammar is relatively better than most, but I still dunno whether I would cut it as an editor. And to be told that I passed is super-fantastic! Now I know that the test was good for their standards, interview would be a breeze. I mean, not to be overconfident and count my chicks too early; but what I mean is that my anxiety has left, so tomorrow I won't have any of that.

I called Ash as soon as I got to Ayus' place. I was bursting at the seams and just needed to tell him. My parents I wanted to tell when I could see them. I was so excited and gushing when I was telling Ash. And I've to thank you, Sayang, for constantly telling me and assuring me that I could do it.

The Fairuzs after that sent me to the ERL and I got on it to Salak Tinggi, where my dad picked me up. I was so happy to announce the good news and begged him to get me new shoes for me to wear tomorrow. We stopped and I got two :) My mum was equally happy when I told her. And with everyone's assurance and blessing, tomorrow would be a walk in the park (I hope).

So, wish me luck. I really really want this. Pay is good, and the work is something my brain is made to do, so, getting it is so crucial to me...

Anyway, we'll see la, how it all turns out.

Love, Linzy~

A summary of what I did/happened today:

1. Woke up early and my dad sent me to the Seremban train station. I was wearing an overly long pair of pants that I had no time to alter.
2. Went to Adecco International at Menara Yayasan next to Amcorp Mall for an interview for a post as a creative copywriter. I would say it went pretty well. I think my free style essay for a tourism brochure had some impact, along with some paperwork I have to show. Hopefully I'm shortlisted.
3. Walked around Amcorp and was tempted to buy everything. Ended up with a book, and a handbag.
4. Went to KLCC to pick up my Buffy Season 8 #19 and #20 from Kinokuniya. Sat down on a bench and finished both at a go. I cried a little when Buffy [spoiler alert] kills Willow.
5. Went to Galeri Petronas to see the Imaging Selfs exhibition. Enjoyed looking at the perfectly captured photographs of artist(e)s and personalities. Although wishing Ash could be with me so we could enjoy strolling through the gallery together.
6. Fidzy called, and we decided to meet at KL Sentral. Met her and Shu for a chit-chat while I waited for the time I had to leave to Seremban. Their plans on getting hitched this year has not sunk in.
7. Received a call from Wolter-Kluwers (yeay!) to come in for an interview/test tomorrow to see if I fit the bill as a nsub-editor.
8. Went back home, all the while sad that I did not get to see my darling today... I know you had class, Sayang, and I wouldn't want you to skip it, but the very selfish side of me wished you were with me. *sigh* I miss you so much. Hopefully when I get a job in KL I'd get to see more of you. I love you, Sayang~

I do not have the time to elaborate any more tonight. I need sleep cos I'm dead tired and cos I have an interview tomorrow. I'll try writing something when I have the time. Nite~

Linzy.