Sup3rnality

I need to clear my head.

Sometimes when I'm at work, and I'm a little worn out, and my mind starts to go to its own happy place, I have thoughts of you, more often that not.

These thoughts are a beautiful distraction. Sometimes alittle bit too much. Sometimes a little creepy. Especially when I get that smirk at the corner of my lips, eyes a bit far away, and my biting my lips to hold back from making involuntary sighs.

It's the words you say, little gestures, your cheeky expressions, wide smile, th ethings you do...it's everything.

I can't help it. My thoughts are filled with you. All the things I dream of doing involves you being right there with me.

Don't blame me. You made it impossible not to love you.

Love,
NeQ

I wouldn't call myself a fashionista. I love clothes, that's a definite 'yes'; and anyone who has known me long enough would notice that my supply of clothes is so that you could hardly see me wearing the same combo in a month (although I am guilty of overwearing non-iron t-shirts or blouses every now and again). But fashion savvy I am not.

I just love how clothes make me feel. I know beauty is skin-deep, but there's nothing shallow about feeling good on the outside other than just on the inside. When I feel good in both ways, I feel I can take over the world.

But a plus-size girl like me can't enjoy just anything sold in shops. Often I would need to hunt down the sizes I want, or even hunt down a shop that sells decent enough clothing in my size that doesn't look grandma.

But see, that adds to the allure. The fact that I have to work extra hard to look for something I could wear and on top of that, look for something that my salary could accommodate, adds fun to the chase of buying clothes. It makes it all the more precious. And when you've zero-ed in on that perfect outfit, you wanna hold on and never let go.

Nowadays, blogshops have been a saving grace. Clothes are now cheaper, prettier and less run-of-the-mill. Some shop is always offering something different from the rest. And you can just go ga-ga over the choices. The problem with sizes has also been minimized with so many plus-sized boutiques out there. Us gals are spoilt for choice, really.

I admit I feel out of place during times I've been into places like TopShop or Forever21 when friends wanna go there to shop. Aside from the lack of size, the prices there are especially a deterrent. If my salary could speak, it would outrightly say "Hell, no". But even if money wasn't that much of an issue, and even though their prices are not that bad, paying for just clothing at that price is like being robbed blind. Well, in my opinion anyway.

So here's me, not concerned and not up to date about the fashion world, but loves fashion nonetheless. And with my tight budget, finding affordable clothes also needs to be factored in. So I'm proud to call myself the thrifty plussize shopper; hell, I ain't afraid to say it.

Love,
Linzy

Bobbing to nobody's beat
A solitary island
Standing still
Waiting
Waiting
Waiting
For the ship to sail in
And remind it again
That these spaces between
Is for the rush
When the tide comes in.

(c) Hazlin Aminudin, 2010

Baby, come close this space between us. I miss you.
Disclaimer: Beautiful photo of a lone boat, titled "Lone shark" is by a.kay47 from Flickr.

It's a sight for sore eyes, being able to see some good friends. The Aust-Bs were like family to me in WK, and they still do feel like family.

It's funny, I feel like it's been a whole long while since I left. I jived with Setar so easily that I felt like I've been doing it forever. And yet, when I sit down with them awesome Aust-Bs, it feels like I never left them behind. That bunch of friends is a bunch like no other.

Perhaps it is too naive for me to wish that we'll always be this way. Like 10 years down the road, heck, one year down the road, we can meet up and still laugh like we always have. But I can wish, yeah? No harm in that. We might go our own ways one day and find greater bonds, but at the very least, I hope this memory will be lasting.

For now, I'm content with the knowledge I have these friends, and they're there when I need them. And they're awesome indeed.

So Aust-Bs, I hope to see you again soon. Perhaps for a makan that is not hindered by Tracker and webnews. Sometime when we could just kickback and have some laughs, with some shisha in the mix to keep Jimmy Boy quiet. And with no lamb so that Epol won't have to sob longingly. And cute guys for Mary to ogle. Heheh...You get my drift.

Well Aust-Bs, you guys were great. Thanks for a good rekindling of memories. Life just ain't the same without going to work with you crazy people. Until next time...And hopefully when Arv and Adrian can join us.

Til we meet again.
Linzy <-- that's how you spell it, Arv :p

Linzy extraordinaire has done it again, ladies and gents. Several years after the fiasco at her dorm, she managed to once again lock herself out of her room. And not just out of her room, but also locked in her own home.
Yep, she forgot her key in her room, meaning she cant get into her room nor she can leave the house. Bloody brilliant. Good show, Linzy.
To top it off, her housemates are not in, and they're not reachable. All her phone calls were for naught. Dammit.
Luckily I have my phone to call for food delivery, cos it's 4pm and I ain't even had a meal today. So now I'm fed but have no idea what to do. Tried fiddling with the doorknob, and sliding a card through the lock but zero joy.
Sigh...I'm just so damn smart.

Sometimes I wish I could just fastforward this part of life and jump straight to the part where I am not insane with worries, not wracking my brains how to survive the next few weeks. Sometimes I wish I could just get to the part where I don't have to stare into space thinking about how to get through the month, when I don't have to have such short of patience because I'm constantly on edge.

But hey, if wishes were horses, right? I'd be bloody riding right now. The horses, I mean. Ahem.

Money troubles, house troubles, life worries, family worries; they all weigh down heavily on my shoulders, and quickly turning my hair white (so much so that Asdil has a fun time pulling them out and commenting how old I've gotten). Sometimes I don't need to go through this part of life and just click on the forward button.

But hell, we all know that these are the times that make you. It's difficult and just so damn painful, but these are the years that shape the things to come. I know all this, of course, but I just wish it wasn't so hard.

On the upside, though, I still have my family who loves me regardless. My mom, whom I, as of late, argue with way too much than usual, helps me through wherever she can despite it all. I am terribly guilty, and a terribly bad daughter this past year, and yet, the things she does for me is just unbelievable. My siblings, especially my sister, makes me smile and gives me the strength cos I know I have to be strong for my siblings. And Asdil, he's been with me every step of the way, been there when I cry my eyes out, and have just kept on loving me, even on days when I don't love myself. He's the one who has been there on days I'm alone, far from family...he's been so many things in one single person, and it's awesomeness.

So, for the most part, even when in pain, I can still say "screw it", I'm loved and that can be enough for me, even if I don't got anything else. These are trying times, and it can be hard just getting by a month, but despite it all, there are things life that are much much better than everything else. And most importantly, they are free :)

Love,
Linzy