Sup3rnality

Sometimes I wish I could just fastforward this part of life and jump straight to the part where I am not insane with worries, not wracking my brains how to survive the next few weeks. Sometimes I wish I could just get to the part where I don't have to stare into space thinking about how to get through the month, when I don't have to have such short of patience because I'm constantly on edge.

But hey, if wishes were horses, right? I'd be bloody riding right now. The horses, I mean. Ahem.

Money troubles, house troubles, life worries, family worries; they all weigh down heavily on my shoulders, and quickly turning my hair white (so much so that Asdil has a fun time pulling them out and commenting how old I've gotten). Sometimes I don't need to go through this part of life and just click on the forward button.

But hell, we all know that these are the times that make you. It's difficult and just so damn painful, but these are the years that shape the things to come. I know all this, of course, but I just wish it wasn't so hard.

On the upside, though, I still have my family who loves me regardless. My mom, whom I, as of late, argue with way too much than usual, helps me through wherever she can despite it all. I am terribly guilty, and a terribly bad daughter this past year, and yet, the things she does for me is just unbelievable. My siblings, especially my sister, makes me smile and gives me the strength cos I know I have to be strong for my siblings. And Asdil, he's been with me every step of the way, been there when I cry my eyes out, and have just kept on loving me, even on days when I don't love myself. He's the one who has been there on days I'm alone, far from family...he's been so many things in one single person, and it's awesomeness.

So, for the most part, even when in pain, I can still say "screw it", I'm loved and that can be enough for me, even if I don't got anything else. These are trying times, and it can be hard just getting by a month, but despite it all, there are things life that are much much better than everything else. And most importantly, they are free :)

Love,
Linzy