Sup3rnality

Less than an hour after I wrote the previous entry about my feeling worried that Wolters-Kluwer have not yet contacted me about my employment, they finally called. When I saw the name on the screen saying that it was Mr. Raymond, I turned to my mom who was watching tv with me, and I made an excited face which, I was quite sure, resembled a mad woman's insane glee.

I rushed to the kitchen (again. Like last time.) and picked up the call. It was Mr. Raymond and he asked me to be sure whether or not I have been informed of their wish to hire me (Oh God, yes!). Yes, abso-frickin'-lutely you have told me. Oh, so in that case, I needed to come down to their office to sign the contract and what not, and I shall begin my employment on the 2nd of February.

Woo-hoo!!!!

As soon as I hung up the phone and came out of the kitchen, I skipped my way back to the living room and sang a little tune "I'm gonna work, I'm gonna work". Yes, I know I'm crazy, no need to remind me.

But really, I just felt so gorram happy. I'm about to work in a few more weeks and I can finally feel independent again. I can finally find my focus again and feel like I have a purpose.

Now the only few things left to do is to get an apartment and move in, and figure out my transportation plan. Wow, I'm so looking forward to this. I really am. And now my mind can finally relax; and think of what lies in this very very near future:

My future as a sub-editor for Wolters-Kluwer.

Love, Lin~

I'm bothered. My mind is at an unease. I am in limbo.

It's been a week since W-K called me to tell me that they want to hire me. However, I have heard nothing from them as follow up as of yet. And when I call them, no one picks up. I'm starting to get worried and restless... Am I, or am I not hired?

I know that the guy who called me said that he would not be around for a week last week, so probably he just got back to his office. But he did say I could call the office for more info, and that either way, he'll call me this week to discuss matters further. I know that it's only Monday, but I'm starting to get paranoid cos he hasn't called. And when I do call to talk to them, no one picks up.

Like I mentioned in another entry, I have this paranoia that they decided not to hire me after all. I know that an established, well-known company will not do a thing like that, to jeopardize my looking for another job since I didn't get the post they offered; but I am nonetheless worried. There are many preparations that I need to get done before I start work, so I'd love to have some sort of confirmation that I am already somewhat of an employee waiting to start. Also, as they have mentioned a training program that I would have to go through, I'd like to know more so I can prepare myself for that as well; since I don't know where or when that would take place.
I know they will call me soon, I just wish it's sooner. As it is, I cannot find an apartment, and the interesting ones that Ayus has found for me, I cannot give them a definite answer on whether I want the place or not cos I don't know whether the job is actually mine. And my dad, he's in talks of getting me a car, but like I said, with no real word on whether I have the job, it's kinda hard to plan.

So, please Wolters-Kluwer, give me a call asap; or at least, pick up my phone calls. I really really am looking forward to the job. And I need to plan my next few steps. A call would do me a world of good.

Lin~

Out of nowhere, I remembered a promise I made not too long ago.

I promised this young person, so earnest in his request, and said:

"Of course, I will. Don't worry. I promise"

And I plan to keep it.

Sincerely, Lin~

"It's better than being on the computer"

That's what my sister, Haida, happily giggled out as she, my brother and I jumped up and down on a huge sheet of bubblewrap. Yup, it didn't matter to us if it was 11.55pm and that we just ate; we hopped and crawled and did a jig and circled the sheet of little air-filled bubbles like a long-lost tribe of crazies.

Our dad just came home with something that came in a big box and had this bubblewrap that could fit the three of us if we lay down on it. So what else, we put it to its use right away, regardless of the late hour and that I was in a kaftan; we happily saw that every little bubble popped in the many different ways.

Just some random fun we very rarely take the time to partake in, as we slowly drown and isolate ourselves with our gadgets and gizmos.



It's these kinda moments that take you back to times when you were only 6 or so and everything seemed so simple and so carefree. Everything is black and white and there were no in-betweens that made life all the more complicated. But back then, I wouldn't have my siblings, and there'd be no-one to share the joy with me. So I think again, there is no use in dwelling on what you cannot change. Learn from the past, and use the now to right the wrongs. Be thankful of what you have. What you have now, probably wouldn't have happened without the then; and the past happened the way it did to make the present.

So jump, live and smile. It takes you on a ride back into the past as you go up high, and brings you to back to where you are as you land. You are where you are from the leaps you take.

And bubblewrap makes it all the more fun as the kid I once was and still am giggles with genuine glee.

Love, Lin~

As I sat curled up in bed while facing the laptop, I noticed a little something about myself that never really crossed my mind to ponder upon. Eversince I was a child, I had this habit, whenever I am comfortably in a lying position with the intent of resting and/or sleeping, my right foot will softly brush up and down. Weird, I know, and I can't really explain it; but my foot, not my entire leg, will just gently glide back and forth from the ankle. And it's only my right foot that does that, my left would stay still or just flex slightly.

It's just those little quirks that you don't quite pay much heed to. I mean, you do it and the action registers somewhat in your mind, but you don't actually ponder upon it. After all, what much of a purpose does it serve?

I find them to be one of them unique oddities that a person might have. They might range from subtle to just downright strange. But it makes you you, you know? Like my mom, sister and I just have to have a blanket over us when we sleep. Even if it's hot night, a blanket is a must.

Oh, and another thing; the quirkiness about the way we sleep. Of course, one wouldn't know about them unless someone tells you about it; cos obviously you aren't awake at the time. I've been told that I talk in my sleep, or sometimes even laugh or cry. This is what Sarah told me when we were roomies back in MCIIUM. And Aaina tells me that every now and then I would snore, especially on those tired nights after alot of work.

But I think when it comes to quirkiness whilst sleeping, I'd know the most because I would be the one to sleep the latest. Being the night owl that I am, I'd be awake til at least 3am or so. So by the time I decide to doze off, others would have been long gone into their slumber.

When we (Fidzy, Sarah, Aaina and me) were roomies, I'd lie awake and listen to the various sounds coming from each compartment. Fidzy snores at times. Aaina grinds her teeth real loud. Sarah makes sounds every now and then, but I mostly remember how she must sleep with something on her forehead. Haha. And then there were my roomies from before, like Kak Ziana, Zaza and Aiman who used to talk in their sleep all the time (especially Kak Ziana and Aiman who were Law students...I guess all that studying and memorizing went to their heads). A cousin of mind who sometimes would come over had this sleeping position that quite resembles the Superman pose i.e. one arm outstretched above her head and the other at the side with one leg slightly drawn up. Too bad there weren't any digital cameras or camera phones at the time to capture them. Oh, and my cousin, Kanna, used to sleepwalk. I remember her opening my cupboard and trying to walk into it, thinking it was the bathroom.

Ah, such funny quirks. I think mine are rather minor, unless my former roommates sengaja don't want to share them crazy escapades I get myself into when I'm asleep. But otherwise, I've no complaints from anyone who have shared the same sleeping space.

So I'm a occasional snorer and sleeptalker, who has a twitch in the right foot before falling asleep. These are my sleeping quirks.

What are yours?

Love,

I thought 6 weeks was difficult to overcome, but this is even worse. Knowing that just about 2 hours away by Komuter and LRT, is the man I love. And yet, even with all the conveniences of transportation that technology can offer, I am here in one state while he is in the neighbouring other.

Not being able to see him for six weeks when IIUM took a long semester break was very very trying. That anticipation I used to feel each morning on campus when I knew I'd be seeing him later in the day or in class gets killed as soon as it occurs, when I wake up in the morning to see myself in my bed at home. And counting down the days to when semester opens never helped; I'd only realize how far away that is.

But now, my Sayang is back on campus; definitely much closer to me now than when he was in Baling, Kedah. And yet, this separation is even more painful. At least when he was home I knew there was nothing that I could do about it, and that had to wait til he was back. Instead, now he's back in Gombak, I have to fight the frustration knowing he's so close yet so far.

For one, his classes all ends in the afternoon, so even if go to campus, I cannot have him to myself the whole day. I'd probably be able to be with him for an hour or two, and then he would have to run off to class; and by the time he was done, I'd have to leave because my darling does not want me returning home after dark. And then, coming from Seremban has it's downsides. I need cash to travel back and forth, and it takes alot of time to get from here to there. So much time is wasted in the process; and it's not like I can go very often. There are things that need doing, and my conscience tells me I should be home to do it or help with it.

It kills me inside that the span from one meeting to another with my Sayang stretches so long. I want to be able to see him everyday, even if for just a while. It's just a comfort to be able to see his face and hear his voice; it's simply the best part of my everyday. I miss being on campus knowing that he is only just a few minutes away if I want to see him, and I miss how he'd sometimes come on a bike to the hill I live on to pay me a visit and we'd sit and talk and subtly hold hands, afraid that someone might see. I miss our stowing away from class or after to enjoy some time to ourselves, usually by watching a movie or strolling through shops and talking about everything and nothing in particular. I miss all that.

But it doesn't mean that we can no longer enjoy fun times together. It's just that, I've entered a new phase in life, and I'm still getting used to it. It'll take time to settle in on this new situation and find a new groove to fall into. But it doesn't change a single thing about how I feel about you. If anything, I love you even more, and appreciate you all the more when you're not here.

I hope you be patient, Love. Trust me if there was a better way, I'd sure have taken it. Perhaps soon when I've found myself on steadier ground in these next few months, we'd have more time to be together. Until then, know that I love you beyond any words can say, and I love you even more as days go by.

I think of that morning, and it always give me shivers.

I love you Asdil/Ash.

Yours, Linzy~

A list of things to do before I start working (assuming I really really do get the job):

1. Look for an apartment that is affordable and convenient (in many aspects)
2. Figure out the transportation system in Cyberjaya
3. Choose and pack clothes/Buy some more decent clothes to wear to work
4. Open up two new bank accounts
5. Straigthen/tidy up my room at home
6. Choose and pack up stuff for new place
7. Buy stuff for new place (furniture, necessities, toiletries, foodstuffs)
8. Look for reference books I might need (anything for an excuse to buy books)
9. Settle the laptop situation
10. See the friends I've been missing and might not be able to see often when I start work

Love, Linzy~