Sup3rnality

It's the end of the weekdays and the beginning of the weekend...

And I am *still* in the office!!!

My brain has reached its limit and I just can't do anymore. I'm tired and I'm hungry... But being the perfectionist that I am, I know that I can't go home with this hanging over my head. Monday may be a public holiday for us, but not in Australia; so I have to take that into account. So it's either I come on Monday or stay back late and finish it today. But I'd rather do it today, cos I know I ain't gonna have a sound weekend knowing that I have this to do.

There are a million and one things more to learn. I mean, you go through training and all, but for the most part, you learn things on the floor. The training may be comprehensive in it's own right, but you can't possibly learn everything at once. And they don't cover the little things...which leaves me lost in many things.

So yeah, having to handle three products as it is; I also have to figure out what to do and how to do it. I learn most of what I should do after I already did it wrong; so alot of time is spent undoing something and doing it all over again. Or I learn about something that I should include in everything I do much later; meaning that I have to go back into the fray and get that done to.

Like what I'm doing now, I have about 200 files done; only to realize that I *should* have included just one more step in addition to all the other steps I did. So I have to open up each and every file again and put in that final step. It doesn't help that I clicked on the wrong button and find that there's no undo button... I just hope it's something minor. Otherwise, I'm screwed.

Many of my teammates are saying that I am being tortured. I've been given so many tasks when I'm only starting out. True, in some ways; especially considering the fact that I don't even know what I should do in the first place. But I do feel like I have to earn my keep. I mean, others are doing heavier stuff... But the only thing is, I wouldn't mind it if I was actually told what to do in detail, complete with all the steps. I've never done this, so it's not like I have to recall some dusty talent to the fore. This is new for me. Teach me.

And my first review sucks. Like really. I never had anyone tell me my grammar is bad. I know it's not. But when you aren't sure about what you can or cannot do; you don't do something to the greatest extent. Sure I ask everyone around me, but I don't know just how much I'm allowed to. Not to mention the fact that I was not given a complete guide of the dos and don'ts of editing. There is a house style that the company adopts and incorporates in all their products; and I don't know the complete guide...so I couldn't have spotted all of those errors.

Sorry folks, I'm just a little furstrated. It's a Friday and my mind is set on going back home, but I'm still here, so I'm getting a bit uptight. But I am ok, really.

Honestly, I like what I'm doing. And I don't mind doing it for a long time. I just wish that I was given proper instructions before I was put to work so that everything can run smoothly both for me and the other people involved. But because of this one problem of my not knowing alot of things, I get stuck, which then means that they get stuck, too. It's not like they're blaming me or anything; but I feel this insane guilt and uneasiness. And I don't want them having to get into trouble or slow them down...

So...well, there you have it. A rant from Linzy as she sits in her office cold and hungry, waiting for her dad (who is always busy and late). She very much wishes to be at home and snuggling under a nice warm blanket with her special someone (if possible) while watching a movie... Not that she can; but she wishes.

*sigh*

It's 7.31pm; and here I am still...

Love, Linzy~