Sup3rnality

Posted on my Xanga:

It is a frustration that my Xanga account can hardly load, especially when I need to blog. The weblog editor page loads halfway through, stopping at the 'Audio' tab and then going blank, thus unabling me to continue posting.

Nowadays, with my free time, what with being unemployed and all, I have many thoughts and lotsa time to put these thoughts into words. Nevermind that I sometimes get too tired of composing complex metaphors, I still feel the need to substantiate whatever my abstract thoughts are into some understandable words to a) give them life, b) categorize and organize them, and c) to keep me sane.

Therefore, it gets on my nerves to not be able to just open up the post-an-entry page and just type in something and submit. Even if I did write something beforehand, by the time I actually could post it, it would be outdated and no longer relevant at the time. So you see my annoyance?

So now I've revived my Blogspot account and am moving my entries there. I'm not going to shut down this one, because I honestly like Xanga better than Blosgpot. But for my sanity's sake, I'm gonna have dual accounts. I'll post entries at Blogspot primarily, and when possible, repost them on Xanga. It's very frustrating, because I really hate having to move...It's like moving house. I'm already comfortable and settled in one, but now I have to leave. Well, not wholly; only that this will only be secondary... Ah well.

So, all of you who grace me with your presence now and again (I'm not sure who else reads my blog other than some few friends), please note this change if you see no entries for quite a while. Probably it'll be the that I can't post anything here, and all the entries are on the other one. Thanks~

Below are my blogs' links;

Blogspot: Sup3rnal Thoughts
Xanga: Sup3rnal Thoughts

Love, Lin~

I was going through Blogthings.com and came across this particular quiz. I didn't have to answer any questions other than having to choose a particular picture that I was most compelled to pick.
This one below immediately caught my eye, despite my having to scroll down to see it, hence I saw others before my eyes landed on this. But this one however, just called to me. And I was surprised to see that the results are exactly how I feel; particularly the last paragraph.

My insecurities on a whole, centres around my fear of being rejected, feeling like I'm not good enough. So much so that sometimes I wonder whether people really like or love me, in particular those I am in a relationship with, like how I sometimes feel insecure about my relationship with Ash. I fear that I am not good enough to be loved and cherished, and hence I sometimes am afraid to give my all.

But then, I need people around me to feel like I am worth something; to prove to myself that I am worthy of love and that I am needed. When I was single and when I am alone, and especially at times when I feel insecure, I would inexpicably cry myself to sleep, without really understanding why. And perhaps, I fear the loneliness... Which is a paradox in itself, contradicting my doubts I mentioned before.

But that's how my mind works, and I have to say that I am surprised to have such a simple quiz put that particular frame of my mind in the exact words.

The Part of You That No One Sees

You are passionate, romantic, and emotional. You put love first in your life, even though you have often been disappointed by it. You expect to be swept of your feet, and you never expect infatuation to die out. Underneath it all, you are scared that you aren't lovable. Your insecurity has ruined many relationships, as you are unable to see the love that's really there. You are secretly afraid of being alone. Confronting your insecurities is incredibly painful.

Malacca was a bust. It wasn't a wonder why we got them free night's stay. The hotel was pretty much run down, with termites eating into most of the woodwork (the second floor had to be closed off cos the wooden railings have been gnawed through), the sheets' cleanliness was questionable and the blankets were thin. And the room was rather tiny, too. My dad said, 'Jom balik', as soon as we got in, thinking we just might as well stay at home. But as my Sayang pointed out, it was still something. Some people would not even have a chance to stay in a hotel; and I agree, cos, well, at least I still have the luxury to compare.

We didn't really do much in Malacca either. Since it is the school holidays and it was a weekend at that, there were many people and their kiddies out and about having a good time; so the roads were jammed, parking lots full and the shopping malls and restaurants were filled to the brim. So we just had a simple dinner at a warung and got back to the room.

I had trouble sleeping that night, as per usual. New place+air conditioning is never a good sleeping companion so I got up several times that night to breathe. I finally got tired enough to doze off around 6am and slept til 8am or so, and then I got up to go for the complimentary brekkie with my mom. Of course, with the hotel being run down, you couldn't possibly expect much from the spread. There were some dry bread with butter and jam, kuey tiaw, roti canai and some sausages. I mean, it was ok, but taste wise left much to be desired... Oh well.

We left right after breakfast. There wasn't much to stick around for, so it was best to just go home. Anyway, Seremban is not that far, so driving back and forth wasn't much of a problem. After buying some McDonald's breakfast, and also two of them Madagascar 2 headbands with ears, we went home; with me wearing Gloria's ears all the way back.

It was just a relief to get back home. It was just home sweet home.

I will be out of town for a while. My family and I won a few free stays at some hotels all around Malaysia and we've decided to use one of it that expires the end of this month. So it's off to Malacca for the weekend. We're not staying long since my dad works Mondays to Fridays, so we're getting back tomorrow. And plus, there are some important appointments and 'do's that we have to attend tomorrow. It's no big since Malacca is only the neighbouring state, so it's not much of a problem to drive there and back.

It just crossed my mind that I haven't mentioned a thing about my interview on Thursday. Well, that'll wait til I get back, then. There's not much to tell, honestly, but it deserves a mention. Anyway, will get back to you when I get back. Take care, all, and have a good weekend.

Love, Linzy~

P/s: Sayang, I've been missing you like supercrazy and I am dying to be able to see you again. Make sure you come back safe, alright? I love you with all my heart.

My first ever interview is today at 1.30 pm, at Wisma UOA, KL.
I'm feeling nervous, although not really sure how.
I'm calm, but a little out of place.
I cannot really put a finger on my feelings right now.
Ah well, we'll see how it goes.
If it's good, then I'll know where I stand.
If it's not, thren I would not what I should improve on next time around.
Anyhow, wish me luck!

Love, Linzy~

I am going for my first interview tomorrow. It'll be at Wisma UOA, KL at 1.30pm with the recruiters, who are looking for editors for a publishing company. And if all goes well with the interview tomorrow, I will then proceed to the next level and meet with my actual potential employers. They are a Netherlands company which is based in Cyberjaya, and need editors to edit/proofread etc. their publications.

Out of all the vacancies that I have looked through on Jobstreet.com, this is one that stands out and is really calling to me. I feel like it is really something that I can do, something I'd love to do. There are other tempting jobs, of course, like being an English Literature lecturer at HELP or Taylor's; and I am looking forward to getting a call from them, but working as an editor seems to be something I'd love to do at the moment. Academia I would maybe keep for the future.

So right now, I'm gearing myself up for the interview. My main concern is about what to wear tomorrow. I had to go out shopping with my mother today to get a bunch of stuff, cos me, the person that I am, don't wear any other type of pants other than jeans and own only a coupla shirts. So I had to get meself some slacks and some proper shirts. So I went to Jusco Seremban, and got what I needed.

But of course, in true Linzy fashion, when I got back, I found out that I somehow managed to pick the wrong pair of pants....wait, wait, both pants that I picked out were the wrong ones. I was like "WTF?!". But Jusco is too far to go to again, so I'm just gonna wear the one that is the wrong size (one size too big) but wearable. The other one I definitely have to change because eventhough it is the right size, but the cut on me is horrific. It bulges and stretches unflatteringly and I am not compfortable in it at all. So, nope. Meaning that I would have to go to Jusco again within three days to change them pants.

Other than that, all I that's left to do is to think of how I'm gonna be presenting myself tomorrow. I'm psyching myself right now, getting myself into the correct state of mind, and correct state of being. That's how I usually prepare myself for these things. It's about adapting myself to the surroundings and atmosphere.... Once I get into the right frame of mind, I guess I'm set.

So, it's best I get off to sleep now. Plus, my Sayang has already given me a good pep talk to calm my nerves, and I've promised him I'd sleep by 2am. Thus, I better get into bed now. Well, not into bed since I'm already on the bed. Just have to tuck meself in and get some shuteye.

So, goodnight. Will tell you all about it after. Toodles~

Love, Lin~