Sup3rnality

Lately, I've found myself caught in quiet contemplation with a pen in my hand (held in what people say is a weird angle) and a notebook in front of me. I'd be lost in thoughts, attempting to pluck something out of the din of my mind to commit it to writing. And you'd ask me what I was thinking, but I wouldn't know what to say.

Suddenly I'd be seized by some invisible bout of inspiration and would start doodling and writing in my notebook. Sometimes a smile would play at the edge of my lips while I scribble, unconciously grinning to no one in particular but to the thoughts in my head. Something that only I can watch playing in my mind, and not the weirded out observer. You'd wonder what's playing in my thoughts.

Across the table you'd ask what I was writing. I'd be half lost in thought, half still grinning at the thought, and mostly not knowing how to explain it. Although it's not difficult to, there'd be no reason behind it; and my writing what I write would seem to a person as possibly a) a waste of time, or b) a depressed person, among many more. But the reason is just this, it's a nice way to reflect on what brings joy to my life. It gives me a reason to count my blessings, be thankful, appreciate my life and think back on what I've been graced with. And everytime I write something down, it is a testament to myself why life is worth living.

I've lately been listing people, things, places etc. that I love and make me happy. Alongside most of my little entries are little doodles to illustrate my points. I've been having fun writing them down, a smile alighting my face whenever I think of something more to add to my ever growing list...and the list is getting longer.

It's fantastic, knowing that I have so much to live for. Thick and thin, there are still so many little things that can bring me to smiles. They're my life's little pleasures, and I am ever grateful... I am truly blessed. Oh, and in case you don't know, the best things in life are free :)

Here's some random things out of my notebook:

• the smell of rain
• walking along the beach
• warm blankets
• lie-ins
• research (I am a nerd, I know)
• relaxing showers
• honey+milk
• window shopping
• riding in the car with the window down
• watching the sunrise/sunset

Well, that's just a glimpse into what I've been jotting down. I've lots more, and now I'm starting to categorize them. You should see the list under the heading of 'Food'...hehe. But of course, my list would never be complete without the most prioritized entries which are Ash, family, friends, faith and not to forget the maestro, Whedon.

So, I'm loving life. And what's life without love?

Love, Linzy~

It's been five months, now. It's hard to believe that something I am feeling so strongly about is a result from a unexpected incident early one daybreak. Just a sudden impulse on both our parts have brought us to this point in life. You'd think it would come from something more concrete than that. But it didn't. And yet it's strong anyhow. It's unbelievably wonderful.

It's been five months. And we've reached a point where we don't particularly look at months no more. Not that it's not important; but it seems trivial when we are looking forward to years.

Counting months, after a while, to me seems as though I am counting down. Or perhaps, like I am impatient for something. Not sure what it is I feel, but I just don't want to be so particular about the months anymore. I just want to think in terms of years, or decades or forever.

It's been five months. And a lot of things have happened since. My life has changed drastically. And I love you more each day. How can I ever ask for more?

Love, Linzy~

I was coming out of the bathroom one morning after a shower to go to class, and something caught my eye. There was this glint that caught my eye and made me make a double take to see what exactly in a bathroom could cause such a shiny glint like a diamond catching the sun. And so I took a few steps back, and saw that it was from this funky, bright orange looking thing plastered on the wall ( I said plastered because it looked like it was practically sticking onto the wall).

It looked like a wet piece of tangled up orange string stuck on the wall... Like the string or whatever you call it from a terry cloth towel all bunched up and stuck. But as it turns out, it was a very bright orange spider with freaky, wavy legs. And before you say, "Maybe it was just a piece of Orange String"; I say, "I'm sure as hell orange string don't creep and crawl across walls".

The glint that I saw earlier was from its eyes, and that was pretty cool. I mena, the eyes were just so shiny. There was no natural light to reflect on it, only a very dim fluorescent bulb up high illumination the bathroom... Not enough, in my opinion, to cause the eyes of that spider to glint the way it did. It was a pretty awesome sight.

I wanted to touch it but since I've never seen such a spider before, thought better of it. Was gonna take a picture, but at the rate it was scuttling, I won't get back from my room in time to take a picture... Maybe I'll look it up and see what species it is. If I can find it, that is. Since, well, there are thousands of bugs that have yet to be recognized and recorded.

Anyway, I hope I see it again... I so have to take a picture!

Love, Linzy~

Some nights ago, Tuesday night if I am not mistaken (yes, it was cos now I remember that it was after my Feature Writing class and we were supposed to discuss MSL, but couldn't), Ash and I took a walk to Convest (the convocation festival held at the large parking lot near the Law Faculty). I haven't been there since it opened, eventhough it was right next to my college, as compared to it being so far from the guys' college.

Anyway, it was nice, walking together on that cool night just talking. Nights are usually very boring for me cos I would be cooped up in the room not doing anything and able to communicate with anyone. Usually, I'd be playing games, or watching a movie, doing laundry or something or other. So it was a nice change of scenery to be spending time with my love.

I was there with not so much the intention to eat. So I just looked at the many different foods that were there, each deliciously tempting with it looking so yummylicious and giving out yummylicious aroma as well. I swear I could have gained pounds just taking in the sights and sounds.

We stopped at one of the stalls, and I saw the reason as to why Ash was so intent on going to the Convest thingy in the first place: the gerai bihun sup utara (I hope I got that right). My sayang was intent on getting some genuine Northern glass noodle soup with a generous amount of beef and topped with sambal (chilli paste or something like that). So we sat down and enjoyed a hot bowl of soup and noodles on that cold, windy night.

Satisfied and full from a big bowlful, we took a walk somemore around the Convest hill. Despite the coolness of the night, I was just intrigued by the ice cream stall. The kid in me was jumping at the thought of ice-cream and so I got meself one yummy chocolate ice cream in a cone. It was a nice balance to a hot meal, and yet so cold to eat on a cool night. But with the company and the atmosphere and the food, I couldn't ask for anymore.

Ash and I sat down under a tent where there were some seats and a fan while I finished my cone. We talked a bit about some randomness, just having a laugh before we had to get back to our respective colleges. It was just nice, spending time like this...

What hit me the most was that this would be my last Convest as an IIUM student. The next Convest I go to, it would be as a graduant myself, cos it will be held at the time of my convocation (insyaallah). Felt a little sad and the bout of nostalgia started to make itself known... The end of my life as a student is coming to a close. Regardless of my decision for my future (in further studies), this will mark the end of my academic requirement. Whatever else I should pursue, would be my choice entirely, not because I need to.

Whatever it is, this last time was perfect. I had good food, I had fun just looking and browsing, and most of all, I had great company, just being with someone I love. Perfect.

Thanks, sayang, for taking me there.

Here's to Convest, and the next one to come.

Love, Linzy~

My room tells alot about me.

Take one look at it, and you'd know the state my head is in at that time.

My room reflects me alot, and right about now you'd think that I am pretty messed up in the head.

I've had a whole lot of work this entire week. On top of the 5+1 assignments that were due this week, I also had two midterms. Because of the time I have been dedicating to doing my assignments, I've hardly the time to really study. So most of the studying was done last minute and pretty minimal at that.

Thankfully, my midterms weren't all that all bad. They were definitely do-able. And I left the classroom with that air of confidence of someone who thinks they have done well. Well, ok, sometimes I am prone to being a little overconfident, but then again, I am rarely disappointed.

But at the very least, I am not worried by them and there is no nagging feeling at the back of my mind telling me that I should have studied more or answer the question this way and that...my conscience is clear at the moment.

The assignments on the other hand, drove me a little off my rocker. Arabic 2 and Error was a breeze, and I finished them in just a bit. But it was American Literature, Malaysian & Singaporean Literature and Feature Writing that just squeezed the brain outta me. I've been suffering from a writer's block, and when I write, I don't like just crapping everything. I really had to do it good, you know. So it took me a whole long while to actually get my head in check and get something done. Thankfully, everything's done now and I now can catch up with sleep and rest.

So how does my room look at the moment? Well, for one, my bed has clothes, books, notes, and various other unmentionables piled up. The reason for that is to make my bed as uninviting as possible lest I fall asleep and not do my work. My floor is full of assorted laundry, all divided into different piles (whites, lights, underwear, tudungs, baju kurungs etc.). My table is just indescribable cos you just can't see any surface and the cupboard is a splash of colours all thrown carelessly. Summary? My mind is in a mess due to work, therefore my room looks the same. I cannot bring myself to do any tidying up when my mind is all used up for different reasons. It's focused on work and work only.

One thing though that you can say about my mess is that they are organized. Things may not be where they should not be, but even then they are arranged nicely and not just thrown about. It is sort of like an organized chaos. Something like that mess room that Monica has in the apartment; even the mess in there is all neat. So maybe you can say that even when I'm messed up, I'm still the organized nerd? Maybe.

Anyway, it's time I get back up there (to my room. I'm at the lab now) and do a little kemas-ing. Now that my work is all done for the week, and plus it's a holiday next week, I'd better get a little cleaning and laundry done.

So, okay then.

Love, Linzy~

After reading Fidzy's blog some days back, I couldn't help laughing every now and then whenever I think about it. I forgot about this little incident we had when we discussed what we would all be doing five years down the road. But now that I am reminded of it, I remember that it was during the first week of Semester 1, and we were having a little get-together at Leha Kelfood. Aaina wasn't araound cos a) she was in Bangi; and b) I forgot to tell her where we were.

I don't remember how we got to talking about what we would be doing five years from now. Perhaps it was about how this was my last semester and we were probably talking what we would be doing after graduation. I guess at this point of time, we were starting to see the long stretch of possibilities of the future. And really, 5 years is not all that far away...

Apparently Fidzy recorded our predictions onto paper, and this is what came of it... (copied off Fidzy's blog)

Lina - Married with kids
LinZy - either married to Ash or still planning their wedding
Ash - re: above
Ayumi - Travelling the world
Maj - some politician who loves island hopping
Aaina - still in Bangi.......HAHAHHAHAHAHAH!
Raqib - getting stabbed upon meeting the love of his life
FidZy - a rockstar or somewhat.........married or not!

Interesting indeed...I'm curious to see which one turns out true. They're all pretty plausible, but then again, we never know what lies ahead, yea? We'll see in time...

Love, LinZy~

I was anticipating Monday night. My sayang had a theatrical performance that night at the Experimental Hall and I was very psyched to watch it. It's been quite a while since I've watched a play staged by my fellow coursemates and this being my last semester, I was very excited to watch my last play as a student of IIUM.

I was quite disappointed for a while when the play was almost cancelled due to some complications. I really wanted to see Ash doing what he does best. But when he told me on Sunday that the play was back on, I couldn't wait for Monday night.

It was a bit of rush, definitely, for the whole cast. I mean, thinking it was cancelled but only to have it back on schedule at the very very last minute... They had rehearsals the whole afternoon hours just before the performance, and eventhough I wasn't there, I'm guessing it must have been a helluva lot to do. And I'm also guessing that since it was so last minute, they had to forgo alot of things cos there wasn't enough time to really get into it. And Ash did mention that he didn't get to really get into the feel of the character.

I would say that the play was done nicely, regardless of the last minute-ness and all. The story carried and I was taken aback at the ending...so much so that I stared unblinking at the stage and unable to capture any pictures. I just sat there watching my sayang act the crazed person as he killed his 'daughter' and then laughed hysterically on the floor.

Me wish me could watch more plays...but this is my last semester, yo; and there ain't anymore. I regret having missed so many plays in the past due to my nerdly intent to finish my work instead of a little RnR. In fact I missed several plays that my sayang was in... Sorry!

Anyway, it was a good night. Despite the tiredness and worry I had in my brain cos of all the work I had to finish, it was good to take a little time off, have a chat with Fidzy for a bit and watch a play (one that Ash was in at that).

You really were good, sayang. And I'm not just saying it. You really portrayed your character well and it was very believable. Especially at the end...you sounded really mad that it actually scared me. I just wish you didn't punch the stage so hard...Now I'm worried about your bengkak hand, which is now a little blue. Get it checked will you?

Love, Linzy~