Sup3rnality

Well people, I'm still alive and kicking. yeah, I know you haven't heard from me for quite some time. it's just that Seremban is a place that doesn’t seem to accept technology that much. Most people here still like the conventional way of having sun. That is to say by going to snooker centers and archery clubs. I guess the internet just couldn’t beat shooting balls with sticks (I know hat most of you would be imagining!) or shooting arrows and pretending to be Cupid.

Being here in Seremban for the past month has made me insane in a way I would only know how. It's deep in me, and not something you would see clear on my face. It consumes me very, very slowly and threatens to eat at my mind until one day there won't be any left. i purposely sleep most of the day away. refusing to wake up to the realization of where I am, what the hell I'm doing there in the first place and how i got there. The more i sleep the less I have to wrestle with the pain that eats me up from inside of being far from home. Physically, may have gotten use to this God-forsaken place. But my heart refuses to accept it. My heart's far from home, and it aches to be brought back there. I do not wish to be disrespectful of my parents. I appreciate everything they do for me, everything they do to make me like this place. But I can't, I just can't. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is. I want to be back in the house where I grew up in. Where I can tell the history behind every crack, every noise and basically everything that happens in the house. And most of all, I want to be back in the town/city that I have loved and recognized with my heart and soul.

Well, lets not talk too much of things that kills me. I'm already dead enough. You know what? Ever since the 1 month semester holidays I've been getting these weird dreams. And these dreams scare the Hell out of me because, well, some dreams of mine tend to happen in some ways.... One of the scariest happened on the night Sarah stayed over at mine. It was so scary I swore I was shaking in my sleep. I dreamt that it was the end of the world and the day of judgment had come. I was shaking from the fear for not praying as much as I should and for many other obvious reasons. And that was not the only time I dreamt of that. I dreamt of the same thing just a few weeks before and that spooked me so bad. I also dreamt that my mom died and I could assure you that there was a lot of crying involved and God, I don't want any of that to come true. There are loads more really, but I don't think I want to go into anymore details.

Damn, I've been having loads of stomach cramps lately. My mom told me that it most probably was "wind" or something like that due to the fact that like to sleep naked. Well, not naked naked but well, naked in more ways than one. Sometimes half naked, or partially naked or semi-naked or whatever. Seriously! I mean, ask anyone who has ever slept with me. Ooops, maybe I should rephrase that. What I mean is, whoever who has ever slept in the same room as me. What did you think I mean???? I didn't mean sleep with that person. Sheesh! What? You think that I'm some loose woman or something? I can't believe you people! And please, do not dwell on the visual image I had just supplied you with! That is so not healthy.

I know this is so gonna sound weird, but I really can't wait to get back to UIA. Seriously! Not in the way that I can't wait to stay there and eat the crap they try to pass off as food. But more in the way of how things are so familiar there. How I can sort of read people's minds there and understand their motivations, their thoughts. The way of how it is the closest to home I could ever be. The way how it is easier to communicate with people. Sheesh, it sounds bloody weird, but hey, that's the bloody truth (HEY! I'M STARTING TO USE THE WORD BLOODY AGAIN! YAAAY!). And, I could start going back to PAYLESS again. Believe me, there are NO decent bookshops here in Seremban . When I did enter one the other day, I was chased down by some woman from the LINGUAPHONE company. As if I didn't get enough from that CYRIL guy in UIA. Hahahahaha.... you remember that incident don't you Fidz? Hahaha...

Hmmm.... well, I dunno what else I can say. There are loads on my mind but they are way to abstract to describe on mere pieces of paper, or more like this lighted up screen in cyberspace. It just wouldn't do it any justice. So, this is where I will end the thoughts of one of the craziest of people in here. Good luck to us all BENdit dudettes when we take our results on Monday. Until then , CAYANG YOU ALL!!!!!