Sup3rnality

SORRY (11.13pm, 14th March 2004)

I’m not the significant person I thought I am.
I’m nothing more but a pheasant in your royal world.
Too bad I’m nothing more than a pebble in your shoe,
I am the fly buzzing in your face.
I’m not you, I’m not like you.
I am not of royal blood you hold so highly.
I do not deserve to dwell in the space where you breathe.
I’m me, and that’s so wrong.
By your standards that is.
And what I offer is nothing more than the ground you walk upon,
The thrash you throw out after you’re done with them.
I’m so sorry Your Majesty.
Sorry I could not be more what you hoped I'd be,
Did not bother to be what you wanted me to.
Sorry that I don’t wish to share your throne
Sorry that I don’t care.
Why should I even be sorry?
Haven’t you looked into the mirror lately?

25 Ways to Cope With Stress

1.Jam miniature marshmallows up your nose and sneeze them out. See how many you can do at once.
2.Use you r MasterCard to pay your Visa and vice versa.
3.Pop some popcorn without the lid on.
4.When someone says “Have a nice day”, tell them you have other plans.
5.Make a list of things to do that you’ve already done.
6.Dance naked in front of your pets.
7.Put your toddler’s clothes on backwards and send them off to school as if nothing is wrong.
8.Fill out your tax forms using Roman numerals.
9.Tape pictures of your boss (or in our case, lecturers, especially Mr. Stumpy) on watermelons and launch them from high places.
10.Leaf through a “National Geographic” and draw underwear on the natives.
11.Tattoo “Out to Lunch” on your forehead.
12.Go shopping. But everything. Sweat in it. Return it the next day.
13.Buy a subscription of “Sleezoid Weekly” and send it to your boss’ wife.
14.Pay your electric bills in pennies.
15.Drive to work in reverse.
16.Find out what a frog in a blender really looks like.
17.Tell your boss/lecturer to “blow it out your mule” and let him/her figure it out.
18.Sit naked on a shelled hard boiled egg.
19.Polish your car with earwax.
20.Start a nasty rumour and see if you recognize it when it comes back to you.
21.Read the dictionary upside down and look for secret messages.
22.Braid the hair in each nostril.
23.Write a short story using alphabet soup.
24.Stare at people through the tines of a fork and pretend they’re in jail.
25.Make up a language and ask people for directions.

I took this from some old newspaper. I hope you guys have fun trying it out. I hope it works!