Thursday, February 07, 2013

Venom

I hate that you have taken a part of me that may be a long time coming until I find again. The fact that unwillingly you have let a monster loose inside me to poison my heart and cast dark shadows on my sight, fills me with an ache that knows no depth.

I thought you were gone, but here you are again.

I don't know who you are, but what I know of you has done enough damage that will take time to rebuild. (I hope it does).

The helpless romantic in my heart (the one I hide so nobody knows where my vulnerability lies) assures me that all will prevail if you trust enough. My mind, my never-resting over-analytical mind, tells me to proceed with caution.

Why does my fate feels like it belongs in the hands of another?

Can I close my eyes and take myself back to August? Before I woke up to that nightmare. Before I started going to sleep every night after staring at the ceiling for what feels like hours, sometimes with tears staining my pillow.

Can I no longer dance with Doubt?

I don't know how to cut you out. Cut out my heart and search for that piece of venom you lodged in the recesses of my being? Can I? And if I do, will you have left?

I hate you. Oh God know how much I do. You have stolen piece of me. Or have you stolen more than that?

Please, can I ever sleep easy?