Sup3rnality

"If I Am" by Nine Days

So you're standing on a ledge,
It looks like you might fall.
It's so far down,
Or maybe you were thinking about jumping.
Now you could have it all,
If you learned a little patience.
For though I cannot fly,
I'm not content to crawl.
So give me a little credit,
Have in me a little faith.
I want to be with you forever,
If tomorrow’s not too late...
But it's always too late when you've got nothing
So you say...
But you should never let the sun set on tommorow,
Before the sun rises today...

If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of,
I will let you down...
If I am
Only here to watch as you suffer,
I will let you down...

So you're walking on the edge,
And you wait your turn to fall.
But you're so far gone,
That you don't see the hands upheld to catch you.
And you could find the fault,
In the heart that you've been handed.
For though you cannot fly,
You're not content to crawl.
But it's always too late when you've got nothing
So you say...
But you should never let the sun set on tommorow,
Before the sun rises today...

If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of,
I will let you down...
If I am
Only here to watch as you suffer,
I will let you down...

So you're standing on a ledge,
It looks like you might fall...

If I am
Another waste of everything you dreamed of,
I will let you down...
If I am
Only here to watch as you suffer,
I will let you down...

The answers we find,
Are never what we had in mind.
So we make it up as we go along...
You don't talk of dreams
And I won't mention tomorrow.
And we won't make those promises that we can't keep...
I will never leave you.
I will never let you down.
I will never leave you.
I will never let you down.

This song use to mean so much to me. It's basically about this person trying to convince his friend that there is no reason to give up on life; that life isn't so bad, and maybe if his friend were to overlook all the things that make him so hurt, maybe he could see the little things that make life a bit more bearable.

Back in school, I used to have this friend. She was a close friend of mine, and I love her very much. She's always there when I need her to be, when I needed to cry. She's such a unique person, and she had her whole life ahead of her. But one day she just called me and told me that there were a bottle of pills in her bathroom. She told me that she wanted to swallow them and hopefully sleep forever. I cried, I begged, I told her not to. She told me ok, she won’t-for now. She said she will not just yet, just for me. Just to comfort me for a while. She ran away one day, and this time, she really was serious about killing herself. The next few days after that I was crying non stop. In class, at home. I didn't know what to do. She said if I told anyone, I'd only make her take the pills sooner. I was scared. I had a nervous breakdown the second time in my life. One night while I was crying, I heard this song. And I just thought of her, and I cried some more. The next day, I gave her this song. I told her that I would always be there for her, whenever she needed me. We cried together for a very long time. We just cried and cried til we were silent and numb. And after that, she stopped talking about the whole thing. I don’t know what it was, whether it was the song, or what I said to her, the countless letters I gave her. But she stopped. And although we hardly keep in touch now, she's alive, and that's all that matters.

I told her that life was worth living no matter what hardships she has to face. Life will eventually pay off. She is worth something. Every person has a role in this world, and with the absence of that person at the wrong time would affect the very fabric of reality whether we realize it or not. Everyday, what we do change the world a bit. Life may be a bitch, but at least if she's around, we could go through life together and battle the bitch as long as we have to. And if she wanted to take her life and just expects me to sit down and let her suffer, she is only killing one more person than she intended to. I would die too.

Sometimes, we just have to take life one day at a time. Battle other days as it comes. And maybe, the future would be bearable. Maybe the future wouldn't be as bad as we thought since we managed to kill off the enemies little by little. Life will pay off someday. Just have faith. that's the only thing that's keeps me alive. We will triumph one day. Be patient. But then, it will only be triumphant if I have my comrades next to me. Have the people who I fought with standing next to me, basking in victory. It wouldn’t be the same if the friends I started off the fight with were to fall to ground, defeated.

Maybe we can’t always have what we want; but at least there are still people who care; at least you have me.

''The answers we find,
Are never what we had in mind.
So we make it up as we go along...
You don't talk of dreams
And I won't mention tommorow.
And we won't make those promises that we can't keep... ''