Sup3rnality

It's tiring listening to a broken record. At first it seems ok to listen to the song that very much reflects your own feelings... But after a while, all you want to do is smash the record into pieces. I'm pretty much depressed myself. Even more than what people think; but I don't need to be reminded of my melancholy. I don't need o remember that sadness is there at every turn and every corner.

I pretty much like to take life as it comes and try to be positive about everything. I know it's annoying for some people to have a friend who is too perky or always having faith in everything and everyone. It's just how I live; how I make my life more bearable. Sometimes I hold back my pain so I wouldn't burden other people with unnecessary sadness. That's how I handle most of my pain. And I always look for the best things in people. I try to overlook their shortcomings and dismiss it. It doesn't do me good to put people down too much (unless they really deserve it, of course!). It's not who I am. I like to think that everyone has a reason for doing what they do. Just because it clashes with what I believe in, it doesn't mean I have anything against them. It doesn't mean that I am way superior. Although at times I can't help myself but feel like I'm better; knowing that there are some things that they don't know but I do. But I feel guilty for thinking that. Even guiltier if I say it out loud. It's against my own personal principles and belief.

Everyone is good inherently. There is no room in my heart to hold grudges. I practically love everyone I know or even knew. And those I don't know I try to understand and like. Whether they hate me or love me back; it's their business.

I am a girl with an inferiority complex about my superiority complex. I feel guilty about being superior nevermind the fact that I know that sometimes that it is just the cold, hard truth. See? I'm sounding superior again. But you know what? I'm not saying that I look for faults in everyone. Heck, instead I look for the goodness in everyone. I have too much faith in everyone that sometimes I get stepped on like a bug.

Back to what I was saying earlier, it's tiring to listen to things over and over again. I try to shut it out and think that it's just something I have to accept it due to the current circumstances. But it just gets tiring until you can't take it anymore. Nevermind that I try to understand the reason behind these tirades, and yes, I do know why. But I've acknowledged it, I've listened to it, I've tried to stand it; but it's just too much to listen to over and over again. All I can say now that it is a pain in the ass and get over it. There are other people worse off.

I really really really do not need to be reminded that I am feeling sad, what I'm confused about. It only makes me sadder. And there's no room in life to be sad all the time. There must be more time to move on. And I for one am tired of being sad and reminded to be sad.

I'm sorry if I offended anyone. This is how I feel and if anyone has a problem with that, well, either just deal with it or go to Hell. I'm tired of being me cos it seems that a lot of people can't accept it. To the person/people that I mean, it's not that I'm condemning your pain, but you know; it doesn't help being bitter and all. Sometimes you just have to shut up and accept it. Especially when there's nothing more that can be done. And again, well, sorry. I didn't mean to be so harsh.

Tease me, by holding out your hand
Then leave me, or take me as I am - "Stigmatized" -The Calling