Sup3rnality

For the first time in this semester I'm actually using the MCIIUM CC which is like bloody far from my college but worth the walk really. It's fast and much more efficient but it's just that I'm such a bum and can't even be bothered to walk. Well, also because I have to dress up more appropriately since guys come in here too.

I lost a blog entry 2 pages long and I am so pissed off. I was frantically looking through the computer in my room and couldn't even find a trace of it. I do recall saving it in a diskette and in the com as backup, but it isn’t there. I'm frustrated cos that's one entry which contains all my feelings at the moment. It just so happened that I had a burst of inspiration at that time and managed to write my feelings perfectly. And of all things to happen it disappeared!

Right, I'm here. Isolated from the rest of the world cos I got a com far away from the others. Advantage? I dunno... I feel like someone who has cooties or something. But then again, I'm free from prying eyes. *Sigh* I don’t know. I'm just so bloody pissed that I can't find that entry. I've done everything I can but all was in vain.

You know, I was thinking, and I found out that I'm pretty much a traditional sort of person. Not traditional in a budak kampung way. What I mean is that I am very much a person who values traditional mannerisms, values etc. I know how it sounds coming from me. I know people think it weird. But hell yeah, I like it and I guess I'm not afraid to say it. I know I may seem like city girl or something like that but really, when it all comes down to it, I'm pretty much the traditional girl-next-door, goody-two-shoes sort of person.

Hmmmm...to sort of summarize what I said in the vanished entry of mine; well, I've been feeling somewhat lost. I'm stuck with nowhere to go. It's more like I have so many places that I want to explore but I don't know which road to take exactly I can only make one choice. Well, or something like that. And it makes me feel so tired beyond my own help. I feel exhausted just contemplating it. I wish I could rest and not think.

I sort of figured out what I needed. Something I need for temporary relief while I ponder on what I should do. I thought that it might be comfort. I'm unsure of what form or in what way I want comfort but a friend of mine pointed out that it might be company. The thing is, I have company, lots of them. And they're all nice. So maybe there's something more to that. Maybe what I need is someone whom I can just talk my tension out. But then again, I do have friends who are always there when I need to talk. So I don't now really. I'm feeling confused that my head hurts.

Ugh, I hate it when there's someone reading over my shoulder. Especially when I'm blogging. Makes me feel nervous. Anyways, yeah, I think I'm done here. I'm still angry that I can't find my carefully though out entry I so wanted to post today. Okla, I think I'll end it here. Goodbye peeps.