Sup3rnality

It's been a week, now. I thought I'd have found the words I needed to say what needs saying. But as much as I would like to think that words bend and break at my bidding, I'm at a lost for them. I don't have them. They have me.

I cannot give you anything if you were to ask me how things have came to be. I don't know. We don't know. Did it start with me or him or did we both jump into it together? Heh, he wants to take the credit (or blame, hehe)...but I still am not all that sure. I'm just glad it happened.

Admittedly, we found the situation very funny indeed, but it does not discount the fact we knew there were things to resolve. But we did and we're here and I'm glad. So very glad.

It's been a dreamy week. One that has passed almost somnambulistically, but I know it isn't. I'm just awake as you are, just not like from a nightmare-like awakeness, but more of a lucid dream in which everything was felt and heard in surround sound kind of awake. I'm awake and I'm glad that I am. I'm glad because I realize that it's not a dream at all.

I need to have my phone surgically removed from myself. I need to wipe the constant smile from my face. I need to find a better excuse to explain my running to the room whenever my phone rings. I need to bribe my sister so she'd stop giving me knowing grins....

I should, but I don't want to.

It's been so long since I've had it on good authority to feel this way. Sometimes it feels like I need to brush the cobwebs from my long idle self. I'm getting reacquainted with this part of me...and it feels good.

I cannot help the rush, the rapid beat of my heart, the butterflies (or dinosaur, as Yumi puts it)... And I don't want to be helped, because everything he makes me feel reminds me that I'm awake and alive.

Be still my heart.

So this is it, I'm not single and I'm loving it. Thanks to those who had a hand in all this and thanks to those who I talked to for reassurance. Love you all. But most importantly:

I love you, Ash.

Love, LinZy~