Sup3rnality

If opportunity knocks, is it ok to hesitate to open the door? Or are we to open the door without a moment’s thought? But then again, maybe the precise word is not “opportunity”. I think it’s more like a second-chance, a second chance to do something over again. Must I just welcome it in without even thinking whether this “second-chance” is still needed, whether it is still welcome? It’s confusing. Second-chances usually have a shelf life…

When I say second-chance, I mean it in a way that you are given a second-chance to experience something again; to experience again something which you have lost. I don’t mean it in a way that you are able to go through something again so you can correct your past mistakes. So…would you take this “chance”?

No, it’s not that I am given this option… I was just pondering this idea. The thought just made itself apparent in my mind and it made me think, it made me wonder. It’s just that I have been waiting, no, hoping that this chance would come along; but now I wonder whether I still want it. Somewhere in me, there’s this wonder that makes me long for the chance to relive a certain lost portion of last year in a different way. But another part tells me that I no longer need this chance to reach a sorta finality.

It’s just confusing… And eventhough I do not want to because it is absolutely pointless; I wrestle with these two separate opinions. I am not in need of a particular choice. It’s just my thoughts going wild. And yet I still have to torture myself with these thoughts… *sigh*

Anis’ birthday was on the 9th of August on Monday… I wanted to post an entry sooner dedicated to my dear friend Anis on her birthday but well, due to my Dad’s procrastination in getting a phone line and a net connection, I am netless for a week. And I so wanted to send an e-card or something… But I manage to send her an SMS though. I hope that makes up for it Anis… So, I know this is like super late to write but what the heck? HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY ANIS!!!! Love you loads! I’ll see you soon ok? *Hugs and kisses*

Ugh….2 more months and I am out of this Hellhole aka Holy Grounds aka UI…. Well, you know the rest. I just can’t wait. Well, Gombak is another thing altogether but at least the place there is more liberal. I don’t think they’ll treat us like inmates there…

Actually, besides that stupid piece of mind-confusing thought I had that disturbed my already quite disturbed thoughts, there has been nothing on my mind. Well, there is that nagging at the back of my head telling me to start on my BTQ assignment, but that doesn’t count. Procrastination is an acquaintance of mine. When we’re hanging out, I do his biding; which is like nothing.

So, what has been on my mind? Hmm…… I’ve been listening to these following songs excessively for reasons unknown:

1.“Broken”- Seether feat. Amy Lee
2.“Pretty Good Year”- Tori Amos
3.“Hold On”- Sarah McLachlan
4.“I Shall Believe”- Sheryl Crow
5.“Always”- Bon Jovi
6.“You Belong To Me”- Jason Wade
7.“Nothing I’ve Ever Known”- Bryan Adams
8.“Fallen”- Sarah McLachlan
9.“Write Me A Song”- Edwin McCain
10.“Song To Sing”- Hanson

These songs are practically on permanent repeat, especially Hold On. I guess it’s just comforting. All these songs are of the easy listening variety. Hopefully I didn’t make the neighbours crazy with my sometimes off-key singing way into the night until…well, 5am or so. Hey, I am not that bad at singing you know. It’s just that I can’t reach the high notes when singing Sarah Mclachlan’s songs. But I do have a trophy to prove that I could sing to save my life *blushes*. Man, I still can’t believe I did that singing thing in front of my entire school 5 years ago… Heheh, Ayus, if you’re reading this: remember all that singing practices we used to do at my house? And then we actually sang! Song to Sing by Hanson… Remember how I kept forgetting the second verse, the one where I had to do solo? You wrote the lyrics on both my arms and I had to hold my arms out to keep from mucking up the lyrics. Hahah…those were the days. We were known as the Hanson girls after that…

Did I have a good holiday? Well, so-so. I caught up with my sleep, I finished doing some computer assignment thingy I had, listened to my CDs in the comfort of my house and my “casual” clothes, and watched ALL my BUFFY DVDs… Well, not all, just certain episodes of certain seasons.

What else? Oh yeah, played “You Don’t Know Jack” on my com repeatedly. I recommend this PC game to all of you guys whom have been “well-informed” since a very young age due to excessive reading or excessive exposure to the real world. It’s a gameshow type of game where you have to answer some trivia questions which are either lewd on its own, or is just asked in a dirty manner. This question I got, I had to categorize these name of toys as either children’s toys or well, uhh… the-opposite-of-children’s toys. And I got it all correct… Oh, come on, I’m not as perverted as you think. I *happen* to get it all correct. Besides, the names were so obvious… As if some sicko would name a child’s toy--- Uhh, I think I’d better stop.

And besides that, nothing else. No shopping, no hanging out, no excursions or what not. But it’s ok with me. I prefer just chilling at home. Just me in a tank top and shorts and there’s no need to get worried that some sexually depressed (excuse the term) woman from the college’s office would come up to me and start lecturing about the proper attire in the college… Yes, non-Hellish Grounds citizens, no tank top or shorts allowed; even if you’re just gonna wear it to bed. I dunno whether it applies to the guys, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it did.

Hmm…I seem to be obsessed with quite a number of things these days… I just realized that. A few of these things are:

1.“Glow” perfume by J-Lo (I love this perfume…me and my mum practically fight over the tiny bottle that I have)
2.Cadbury’s Picnic Chocettes (the absolute YUMMM!)
3.Clothes that have strings or that which require tying
4.Buffy, Angel & SPIKE (so what else is new?)
5.Justea with Aloe Vera

Heheh…I did hang out after all (this portion of this entry was added later). I dropped by Shah Alam before I came here to the HGs so I managed to get in touch with some old friends of mine. I hung out with Fairuz and Nasyrah in Shah Alam Mall, catching up on stuff. Yup, us three Hanson Girls… Yeah, I sung with them those 5 years back… heheh… I haven’t met up with Nasy for over a year. It’s good to see her again. And after that, after Fairuz and Nasy left, I met up with Alfred. Yup, I haven’t seen that dude in months. It was good to catch up on things. Just to know what’s been going on, what’s new and all the other things I do not know… I had a great time meeting up with old friends. Too bad Iylia couldn’t come with us. Heh, I’ll see her some other time then. Anyways, thanx for the great time guys. I miss you guys loads.


*Sigh* Back on the Hellish Grounds I am. It brings relief and tiredness at the same time. Tiredness because of the stupidity of the entire place and of certain people; and the relief comes from the knowing that I have to endure this place for just another 2 moths. And then it’s freedom… Well, not really… but I’ll take whatever’s better than this. Gombak is surely better than this.

I’m slowly going more and more insane staying in this place. Last last week I spent almost 2 hours in the corridor outside my room singing and jumping around at 2am. Sarah was laughing her head off in the room and I was knocking the door repeatedly, each time pretending to be someone else. I even raced her to the room from the 4th floor at 1am... Damn, this place is consuming my brain. I don't recall being this retarded sometime back...

So okie dokie then… here is where yours truly will sign off. Love all of you guys (whom I know)…. Take care!