Sup3rnality

I guess my last entry, with its abruptness and disconcerting content, warrants somewhat of an explanation. Looking back on it, should I had been an outsider looking in, I must have appeared to be a despaired person who as ready to flush all I have known down the drain... But then again, at the time I wrote that, that wasn't so far from the truth.

I said that I wanted to take all the books of and about literature that I have a put a gun to it. And I would have, well, figuratively, that is; if not for the fact that my life is founded on the same system that I see literature.

I grew up loving to read. It wasn't just about immersing myself in the story, it was the words that were used to describe every detail and every emotion. It was about walking around in the shoes of another person and feeling everything he or she feels. It was about learning things I might not be able to experience for myself. It was about seeing places I would otherwise not see. Reading was my life and soul.

Reading of course, does not just involve you reading what is there in black and white. There is always more to it, just lying there in the blank spaces between each line. There is always more to read than just those words.

Having a piece of goor writing in your hands, be it a work in prose or done in a poem or through the art of drama; there is always the oppurtunity to gain more from it. There is always more than one angle to look at it.

For me, these angles can either be through the exploration of my psyche, or an analysis through the eyes of religion, or its relevance to history or time and place, or the writer's background, and many many more. Looking at them through these various angles always help shed more light on its meaning, thus creating more possibilities of interpretation.

It awes me how mere words can have an infinite number of meanings, depending on how you want to see it.

But then, enter this semester, where I am taking the subject 'Linguistic Approach to Literature'.
Now honest to God, I am not interested in Linguistics. It's funny cos I love the English language. How it is possible to bend the language to my will if I know the rules...and I do (well, a fair more than most), so that makes it all the more wonderful.

But learning Linguistics, from Phonetics to Syntax to semantics.... For me, as long as I know what I want to say, and how I want to say it; that's enough for me. I'm not interested in breaking down the sentences and drawing up it's Syntactic structure or transcribing the words according to the IPA symbols. All these things spoil the language for me. Having to look at language in such a technical manner takes away alot of its beauty for me, making it look as though some piece of complicated machinery.

Don't get me wrong, the beauty is of course, in its complexity; but I just can't seem to appreciate the make up.

Having to look at literature Linguistically have changed literature for me. Once I was content with searching for meanings through more abstract means. But now, I am forced to take apart works in a more technical manner and analyze them Linguistically; and it is driving up the wall.

And why is that? Why, now every time I find myself some piece of writing, I try to find Linguistic patterns in them and study its stylistics. And when I can't, I unconciously deem them uncreative; even if they actually are creative and I have oncee thought so.

It has ruined some pieces of lit for me. Some part of my mind feels as though it needs to perform linguistic analysis on everything. eventhough I know not all works are made that way. And yet, I do it anyway, and have now marred its impression in my mind.

Well, don't misunderstand me, I actually like the subject and it is mighty interesting. But I don't appreciate my ideas on literature being altered that way. Now all I can think about is whether anything I read at all has those Linguistic qualities. Sheesh.

Love, Lin~