Sup3rnality

I feel disappointed that I'm at the end of my hoidays and I still have not managed to come up with some good piece of writing. Troubles me to the bone.

A voice in my mind told me that probably my words got scared away. I haven't been writing anything proper since July, since...well, I lost my baby. And I figure that is a huge part of it. Seems like I've lost alot of will to actually put my feelings into paper. Because whenever I do, I feel the strong urge to pour my pain, which is still so very strong. And whenever I do, I would break down and lose my senses and not be abe to do anything else...So I suppose yeah, that's exactly it.

I still hurt. Only God knows how many times I've cried since I went back to Kulim. Seeing the places where he would sleep, where he would eat, remembering one thing to another; it tears me up inside. I look out at his grave every day, say things to him, tell him goodnight or good mornnig or just hi. Sometimes I tell him I love him and when I'm feeing particularly broken hearted, I tell him sorry over and over. God, it hurts so bad. And I cannot help but refrain myself from having to write this all down whenever I feel a flow of words coming on. And when I do, well...I cry like I'm doing now.

Love, Lin~