Sup3rnality

An hour until the clock strikes 12am.

An hour until I turn 24.

And before that bell tolls, not that there is one, but figuratively speaking; a few things have crossed my mind in quick succession in these past few days:

I am in my 24th year of living. At my age, my mother got married to my father. And at 24, my mother carried me for almost 9 months and gave birth to me at the end of the year. And while I am still far from walking in those shoes, it doesn't mean that I don't plan to. It doesn't mean that I don't want to. I'm longing to. I look forward to that day. I've found a man whom I love with all my heart and plan to be with for the rest of my life. When I think of the future, he is in every space of that vision, and no matter how long it'll take, I'll work to realize that future. When the time comes, and we will know when, we'll walk those shoes I'm can hardly wait to wear.

The year has been difficult. Painful. I've hurt in spaces of my heart I never thought could get hurt. My hair grayed when it shouldn't have. And I've cried for reasons I never thought possible. Many plans went destroyed. My heart got broken over and over. I've thought all was lost many times over. I've wanted to give up many times, and still do feel so. But...

I have a family who loves me unconditionally; despite my shortcomings and the pain that I can be. Friends near and far, in ways big and small, never fail to show me that they think of me, care for me and love me, even when I fail them. And my ever constant best friend, lover and simply, the other half of me, my Asdil, has showered me with love and has stood by me through everything. He's caught me everytime I stumbled, gave me his shoulders for my tears, and carried what I could not carry on my own. This year has been easier with him by my side.

So here's to 24 years of living. Here's to the achievements and downfalls. To my family and friends. To my darling, Asdil. Here's to life and more of it.

Life is long, and it can be difficult and it can be lonely, but when you are surrounded by love, pain ceases hold, and you breathe easier. When all is said and done, life is worth it in the end, because it's not what you suffered that you dread to miss at that the very last breath; but you remember the sweetness life has brought.

Love,
Hazlin