Sup3rnality

I can't do metaphors when there is no painting up what I feel to make it any less real. Does that make sense? No, I suppose not.

I am caught in a constant dilemma. My internal monologue is talking my ear off and I can't listen anymore. The din inside here is becoming so deafening that I'm going out of my mind. I am out of my mind. I heard myself say that over and over for the past few weeks.

It began with the dreams. And the thing that she mentioned offhand, when I was offguard. I realized something then: that I was out of my mind. Dreams cannot be, but I am having trouble waking from them. I'm beginning to believe that I'm living them, or not yet....perhaps soon.

I'm out of my mind.

I felt my face burn. Seared and an open flame that could be read by anyone who saw. It's like being on fire, the house burning down and with everyone watching like it was the most beautiful sight ever. Even the firemen has stopped to watch, and I don't think they're planning to put it out. Heck, even I'm having second thoughts.

My private monologue longs to sit down and have a little chat with me, if possible, face to face. I suspect it has alot to scream to my face. It'll probably love to give me a slap acroww the face to wake me up. Maybe shake my mind out... I guess there's no blame in that. She has been working overtime, compartmentalizing everything, plaing them in manageable sections that can be stored and filed away in a moreorganized manner. So I could take them down and study them at my own leisure. Truth is, the filing cabinet is so full of cases that need to be read and reviewed, that I'm bursting at the seams. Urgent matters need discussing. I'm going out of my mind.

I heard it whispering in ear last night. It told me it's ok. Life stretches into the horizon, and we can't see what beyond without going that extra mile, or that slight offroad, or detour, or pushing that huge rock off the road. Although, to be honest, I've said that it's ok to just ignore the rock and trip... But I'm rethinking that.

So is it left or right? Or the stright and narrow? Heh, I'll confer with my monologue, my conscience, my side-kick; let's see what she says.

I'm out of my mind. And I have a feeling that I'm not alone in this.

Lin~