Sup3rnality

Looking at my friends, be it the ones I've known for a long time or just these past few years, ones I see often or the ones whom I've not for years; I am constantly amazed at how much they've changed over the years. Thinking of how I first got to know them and where we are now present time, it never cease to amaze me just how fast the clock is ticking.

And I feel like I've been at a standstill. Seeing people around me evolve when all I've done is turn my head away for a little while. And I feel like I'm in the eye of a storm, so silent and still when all around everything is spinning so fast. But I know, the truth is I'm spinning fast too.
It's easy to see the change in others. Easier to see how the time has forced those I know to turn into familiar strangers. But looking into the mirror, I know that I haven't stopped spinning either.

Never in the past would I have envisioned that I'd be this present person. It's hard to begin to explain what got me where I am now. Experiences changed me little by little: scratched the surface and planted seeds. Pulled them out and made them hollow. Violated and left them broken. Stunting them in the dark. Let it grow under the bright sun. Watered them and let them bloom. And I cannot be what I am without any of those things I've been through. I'll never change them memories for anything.

I've been a child, a teenager (yes, I still hate the word and it cannot roll off my tongue without feeling odd and leaving a bad aftertaste; but that's the best word to use), and now a woman (and I can't grasp this one either. Still so much in accepting-denial. I know what I am, and I've always been one to count the days I'd no longer be considered a child, but the future is staring straight at me and for the first time, I feel actually scared). No wait, I am all of them; I AM a child, a teenager and a woman. And importantly: I'm a daughter, a sister, and a friend.
Those are the things that never change.

My experience may change me. Alters beliefs and principles and thinking and mannerisms and outlook and a thousand other things. But I remain to be what I am.

Love, Lin~