Sup3rnality

I have been harbouring some fears lately about my involvement in the Explore UK program. Yes, I am elated beyond anything I could possibly explain at the thought of being able to visit the one place that holds much fascination to me. But at the same time, I feel some sort of apprehension at being a part of this.

For those not in the know, I got myself a place among a select few who'll be able to visit UK on a Literature field trip/humanitarian program. There was a poster on the notice board of my faculty, and decided to sign up and see what it was about. After an interview, myself along with 7 others got chosen for this trip; accompanied by some committee members and two lecturers.

The catch, though, is to get sponsors to finance our trip; and that is something we're lacking. And since the proposed trip would be from the 1st to the 7th of May 2008, we have about half a year to look for sponsors. And that is where my fear lies.

Contrary to what you may be thinking now, I am not comtemplating pulling myself out for fear that I am unable to commit. That's not it at all. I feel like I am in my element and I would not pass up this oppurtunity for anything. But what I'm really worried about is that with my hopes sky high, I might fall harder if something does not go right.

I wonder whether we would get enough sponsors in time for the trip. Without sponsors, we would have to bear the expenses on our own, and that would include airfare, accomodations, food on top of the personal expenses. And in the even that this happens, I doubt I'd be able to afford the trip.

It's not that I don't have faith that we won't find any financial support for this trip; it's just that I'm voicing out the one thing that is hindering me from leaping for joy that I'd be able to see UK sometime in the future. It's just this one fear that is hanging at the back of my mind.

I'm sure we'd find enough sponsors in time. I pray for it. And I have faith in myself and this team. I don't want to begin to ponder just how hard it would be to give up what I got and see others go without my being able to be part of it. I can handle rejection well enough, but it doesn't mean it won't hurt.

So here's to hoping that I'd find sponsors who'd be interested in financing a bunch of college kids who'd love literature so much they'd love to see the places where the writers took their inspiration from; walk the streets they walked, see the sights they saw; be in the same space where they once existed and created their brand of art... It would be something of a dream.

Love, Lin~