Sup3rnality

Or maybe it was hormones or the depression of being homeless soon and not being able to find a house yet.

I just watched the episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S when Rachel gives birth to baby Emma. Started crying and just could not stop. My eyes are all puffy and my nose is getting all runny.

Still hard to rein myself in. *sob*

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A conversation with a friend revealed a certain comment made by her then significant other that I could be un-taken if I so wished it. The comment was made due to there being some interest in me by some people affiliated with this then significant other of a friend.

The first mention of it made me rage a little, pissed off at the thought that he would even presume that it is possible. But perhaps circumstances would have made that seem possible indeed, and because of that, I did not pursue the matter.

But here's me thinking on my own, no, I cannot be untaken, as he so simply said. I have just this one heart to give. It is not to be broken to pieces to be distributed. It cannot be shared. It cannot be exchanged for new. It's mine, and I'd only give it to somebody whom I trust and know could keep it safe. And it already is.

Maybe it's easy for some people to play around with hearts. But mine is not. It's yours, and I'd like it to stay that way,

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Sometimes I worry that my odd working hours would jeopardise our relationship. I work from 4pm to 2am, and even on weekends. I hardly get to see you. Between my work and your classes, the only time we have is when I have off days, no matter how rare they are, or when you drop by between or after classes.

These are precious moments to me. My off days, I have to split between seeing my family and seeing you. Whatever time I get I want to spend as much as I can with you. It's not easy, but even if they are just a few moments, they mean the world to me. Just being close to you, talking to you, laughing with you and just enjoying a few brief moments with you, makes my heart swell.

It's difficult. But when I think of a wonderful life we have ahead of us, of how wonderful it'd be to spend my life with my best friend, I know this will all be worth it in the end.

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