Sup3rnality

Always knew we'd be fighting air
Not really seen but always there
The soft breeze blows through my hair
But blinds my eyes, not playing fair.

Dear air, I know you're there
I know you tease me, not to despair
Living in this space we share
We both know our worlds don't tear. 

Oh air, I know you've always been there
It's no place of mine to compare
You've lived a lifetime, oh no I don't dare
I'm hardly even worse for wear.

Let's leave this at this, if you care
I'm struggling, braving against your gale affair
These clinging constrictions I have to pare
Leave me like this, I'll see how I fare. 
(c) Hazlin Aminudin, 2009

You ache too great
Too much quiver and quake
Fear not, dear, just wait
It'll come yet, not too late.


Beat slow, heart, slowly
Let not your eyes green in envy
In this game we do not race
We walk, we run, we go our pace.


Wait, love, let patience reign
Do not take heart, nor fall in disdain
For some it's closer and some in a distance
No fortune just falls in random happenstance.



Dear soul, don't weep in longing
This gap will be filled with no more wanting
Just let it be, let it run its course
All in good time, for good things aren't forced.


(c) Hazlin Aminudin, 2009


Written as a reminder to myself to be patient. All in good time, all in good time. 
Disclaimer: Picture credit to Backlitstranger@Deviantart.

Place: Authors A-K, Fiction aisle, Borders, The Curve

Time: 9.10 pm

Attendance: Meself and a copy of Margaret Atwood's "After the Flood" in my hand.

Okay, talking about escaping the "flood" is rather distasteful in light of the flash floods happening up north. It makes me feel like I am taking people's plight lightly while they are really suffering a flood. So excuse me, for while I am throwing the word around carelessly, I am not at all wanting to be insensitive.

The "flood" I am talking about here is Margaret Atwood's latest book "The Year of the Flood". I love the works of Margaret Atwood. I love her writing, the way she writes, the words she uses and the thoughts she invokes. Her writing usually leaves me with a full feeling; like I just had a huge dinner and I'm feeling content and letting it lazily digest as I relive the best flavours. Her writing is simply delectable.

I particularly love her poetry, her short stories and her dystopian novels. Not so much the other novels, although they too have their allure. But her dystopian novels are beautifully engaging and leaves you on a sort of high. Oryx and Crake was the first novel I read by her. Previously I read and loved her poetry, but Oryx and Crake left me aching for more. When I discovered The Handmaid's Tale, I just needed more from her. And I never knew that she was writing The Year of the Flood til that night when I went to Kinokuniya to pick up my latest Buffy Season 8 comic. It was only released last month, hence it being hardcover and my not knowing about it.

I wanted it. I craved for it. Why? Because it was another dystopian novel by Atwood. And not just any, but a sequel to Oryx and Crake. Oh how I wanted it. But at RM 109, that was a luxury that I couldn't afford.

But when I went to Borders, I saw that it cost RM87, with a discount with any other purchase. I wanted it... But as much as it was cheaper, and I could have bought it then, I knew it was too much to pay all at once for just one book. Sigh... It took all my willpower and self-reasoning to let go, as Ash tore me away from the book.

I survived that flood. As much as I was drowning in the want of it, I survived and I am here...without the book.

Although, I am planning to get it for my birthday next month. A little birthday treat to myself...Oh how I can't wait.

Linzy~

Possibly it was the overdose of horror movies from the Halloween specials some two weeks back. Or even my teammate Saiful's stories of how he and his wife often discuss escape strategies and safety measures in case of a zombie attack. And then, it could be the paintball tournaments I've been watching my Sayang play in til I almost collapsed cos of the intense heat.

I would definitely blame my intense zombie dream on all that.

My dream had the makings of a full-blown B-grade zombie horror flick. It had the signature humour, the sex -- oh yeah, there was the customary sex-scene gone wrong alright -- which was stunted by the zombie invasion, and of course the suspense, lame-ass scare-tactics and the mass hysteria, of course.

But come on, death by paintballs? This movie would have either joined the ranks of "The Dentist" and "The Candyman" (do you remember or have even heard of these movies? Well, if you had to look them up in IMDB, then these are obviously crap horror movies that don't even hold a special place in anyone's memory), or it would fall under the surprising cult-classic heading with the likes of "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" (hey, they even made a gorram cartoon ok? I watched it way back in the day) and "Little Shop of Horrors".

Perhaps it was that time Ash and I were talking about why paintball pellets were so expensive. He was telling me that the whole paintball sport has yet to be picked up, so demand was low, hence the hefty price. Go figure lah. So this was possibly the main recipe of my dream.

My dream began like how a movie would. Here's a family in sleepy town in the middle of somewhere. The family featured is mine. Here's daddy and my other daddy, and my mommy and other mommy, and my brother and sister, and of course me and my boyfriend and these are our neighbours and friends. As soon as the characters were introduced, here comes in the invasion! From outta nowhere, the place is overrun with slow, dimwitted zombies; who walk at 10cm per minute. And while people are either being eaten or running off to hide -- and since what should kill them ain't working, ie shooting them in the head and decapitation -- Ash used a paintball marker to hit one and get it disoriented so we could run....but lo and behold, the zombie just dies :p

Hurrah, yay!

Now what? Well, people flocked all available paintball shops of course. Suddenly paintball markers and pellets were in demand. Even the softened, dissolving pellets were being sold. And the rejected ones which were irregularly shaped were sold at RM15 for 200 pieces. I know this, cos I bought 'em :p I bought a whole bag and got meself a gun.

And so we fought. It was war. I was one of those in the front lines as usual. Standing by and fighting when I can. And in between were of course, as mentioned, the sex (life or death situations always seem to bring this about) which was thwarted by the sudden arrival of more zombies and some family drama thrown in. At one point, while hiding in a dark bedroom, a bloody zombie sat on me without realizing it, and as soon as it occurred to the monster that he was sitting on a person, he attacked, but Ash shot it right at the back of the head, while I shot it right in the face.

See, these zombies could only die if the paintballs came into contact with their skin. And it takes about two shots to do the trick.

It was a weird dream indeed, scary and also very heart-pounding. But it ended abruptly, with us voluntary soldiers against zombies cornered and backed up against the wall of a place that looked like a warehouse with every zombie in the vicinity coming in through the doorway. It ended like that...hanging and unresolved. Possibly a sequel is in the works :P

You'd wonder where I get all these dreams. Well, when you constantly talk of zombies (and hey, I went to see Phobia 2) with your colleagues and watch your boyfriend and his friends play paintball, you're bound to get a mash up of such visuals sooner or later.

I blame these guys (and gal) for my dream :p







If a zombie invasion happened, I would probably have a zombie extermination unit and a training academy to fight off zombies.

I'd have this in every home:


I'd have these posters put around:
Curse you, zombies!

Credits: The pics are from api.ning.com, geekologie.com, 12ozprophet.com, and marcvz.net.

My mother called me late last night and asked me to watch TV3, and check whether it was my good friend, Hamzah, who was in the Malaysian Punk'd wannabe. True enough, it was my one and only dear Gorilla friend.

I only caught the last bit and didn't really know what happened earlier in the show. Thankfully, they put it up online so i could have meself a hearty laugh looking at Hamz's panicked face.

Hamz, you always did give me a laugh when the chips were down back in school. And you still do. Cheers, dear :)

BANG BANG BOOM 4: Ep 5

Tomorrow is moving day.

Or rather, later today, seeing how it's already 1am as I type this.

I'm glad and I'm thankful to be out of that hellhole of a house with those two rude, money-faced, irresponsible and immature Indomees. However, I feel very bad about the girls who took over my place, the girls that ensured my being able to move out. They have now become unwilling scapegoats for my escape. My gain became their loss; and now the Indomees are harassing them, forcing them to pay for things they didn't use; after all, they've only lived there a week.

I feel bad and glad; and those two are not sure-fire recipes for the jollies. Conscience is getting in the way of relief, but as far as I am concerned, my work here is done. It's their turn to face the evil Indomees. But knowing me and my constant worrying, I cannot sit still knowing these girls are in turmoil. They're being harassed because of me, because of my not wanting to give in to the demands of that horrid and rude and insensitive Indomee, Anna. And it's totally not their fault. I stuck them with the problems I previously faced, which was in a way my intention, because I know that Indomee will never see reason. But after getting to know those girls and after how nice they've been, the heart gets in the way.

*sigh*

We'll see how this works out in time. It's tiring and it's unnecessary stress. But this is a cross that I have unknowingly let drop onto my shoulders, so I shall carry it as far as I can.

Love,
Linzy