Sup3rnality

The coffee call
Riding the bullet train
For the morning paper
Like the fire in the stairwell
Looking for right stage exits
Bedroom firelights dancing
With urgency rising
Cornered shadows dying
For sunlight to yawn louder
They burn butterless toast
With sugar on the side
But then I drink tea instead.

(c) Hazlin Aminudin, 2011

For the most part, I feel like this girl here, Hazel Tellington. You can find her at Girls With Slingshots.

Minus the fact that she has a major addiction to alcohol, I feel like her sometimes.

English major, works, oh wait, worked for a newspaper, writes and hey, our names are quite similar.

I relate to her once looking for love phase. And yet, at the same time, to how much she is a closet romantic - nonchalant on the outside, an overload of poetry at heart. Oh, and that she is a reluctant pervert - filthy-minded yet living life so (supposedly) prim.

And yes, and that she has a love-hate relationship with her not-so-generous boobs.

Dear Friend,

I apologise, but I could no longer help you carry this burden. This shoulder can no longer bear the weight of these tears. My heavy heart weighs me down so.

I apologise for brushing off your tears when I should be brushing them away. But I have my own to catch, and they're swelling like a river.

I apologise for not helping you pick up the broken pieces of your life, your heart. Because the truth is, I'm still looking for mine.

2am, Saturday night. Or rather, Sunday morning.

Work is done, and so begins my journey home.

What usually is a short, relaxing drive with thoughts of a comfy bed and fluffy pillows turned stormy with thoughts of smiling faces I painfully envy bordering on hate.

Instead of taking a right turn into the junction to take me home, I went straight on. Straight to Uptown Kota Damansara.

The temporary gratification of new purchases serves to console me for a little while.

But back home, alone in bed, left with my thoughts for company; the fight begins again.

A thought:

When it comes to me and you, there are no ifs and maybes.
There is only yes, and the sometimes no.
But mostly yes.
No, always yes.
And yes, there is no one but you.